Many of us started 2012 with a great deal of enthusiasm, setting resolutions that we hope will see us better off by the end of this year. Yet what happens when we find ourselves, as we often do, dealing with the same old problems in the same old way; what’s going to change?
The answer is: nothing!
Setting resolutions to attain success isn’t enough to catapult us to greater heights. If we want to make real strides in 2012, we need to adopt an improved mindset.
Albert Einstein said, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. That means, to achieve different results this year, we have to be willing to make some changes.
We must upgrade our internal hard-drive and create a new and improved version of ourselves. Specifically, we need to let go of past hurts and resentments that are keeping us chained to the past.
Some of us need to adopt a new mindset about people we believe are causing problems in our lives. That lesson was brought home to me this week, when someone I care about disappointed me severely.
I accept that while we can’t control other people’s actions, we can absolutely control our reaction to them. Still, like most people, given the opportunity, I can find reasons to dislike and bear grudges against certain people.
But I also know that hostility only gives birth to greater disappointments, for anything we focus our attention on grows.
Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, “keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.” If you harbour disappointment, regret or bitterness in your heart, they will manifest in your life. So how do we deal with disappointments? Let them go!
In 2012, let go of petty feuds, anger and jealousy. If you do decide to bear grudges, you’ll find no shortage of people willing to give you reasons to bear a grudge.
Don’t take other people’s disagreeable behaviour towards you personally. Realise that what they think of you has nothing to do with who you actually are; it has everything to do with how they feel about themselves in that moment.
Let go of your anger towards such people by blessing them! This is not just some pious platitude, it actually works!
When we bless our enemies and detractors, we rob them of their ammunition. When we harbour anger and resentment towards them, including thinking about them even when they’re not there, we give them power over our lives.
This week, think of all the people that you’re angry with. One at a time, as their image comes to your mind, repeat these simple words, ‘God bless you, (name).’
Bless the people who’ve wrongly accused you in the past; bless those who rejected you when you loved them; bless the friends who betrayed your trust; and bless the people who made your life difficult at work.
Bless each one as many times as you need to; until you can think about them without feeling bad. As you begin to do this, what begins to happen is that constriction in your chest; and the pain you feel in your heart every time you think about them, begins to fade.
For every person I had a grudge against, I blessed them, sometimes over several days. It was empowering to know that I could feel better by simply choosing whether to focus on love, or anger. Remember, we’re not blessing our enemies for them, we’re doing it for us!
Also key to remember is that any conflict and disharmony we’re experiencing on the outside, is really a result of our disharmony on the inside. If you don’t like how your life is manifesting without, examine the beliefs you hold within; examine your mindset.
Cultivate positive peace, by using positivity to be at peace with others. It will free your mind up to focus on the things that you want; increase your ability to achieve them; and make you happier!
Jesus reminds us: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which spitefully use you and persecute you.”
Why? Because negativity begets more negativity; and love begets love.
To produce amazing results in 2012, send out love and good-will to your fellow men; and you’ll start to attract the same back into your life.
If you find your positivity is not immediately reciprocated, realize that you’ve been creating your current reality for some time now What’s manifesting now may be as a result of your past negative thinking. Don’t become discouraged; or upset over other people’s negativity towards you. We each reap what we sow; sow love.
“Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.” None of us has to expend energy on thinking about how to get even with people. This hampers our progress.
If you have a particularly difficult relationship that you wish to heal, entrust it to God, or the Universe. In fact, you can use this exercise for anything that feels overwhelming to you.
Take a piece of paper; and divide it into two columns. At the top of one column, write down ‘list of things for me to do;’ and at the top of the other, write down ‘list of things for the Universe, or God, to do.’
Under the second column, include everything that you want but don’t know how to achieve. You could put ‘harmonious relationships;’ or ‘repair my relationship with (name).’ Once you do that, don’t worry about it anymore. Cast the burden; and entrust the matter to God to solve. He will solve it!
Have a week full of positivity and love!
*Primrose Oteng is a Master of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) and the Founder of the ‘Positive Peace Project,’ an organization dedicated to creating positive change through personal empowerment. For more on our workshops and other services we provide, check out our Facebook page or contact: [email protected]