Sunday, January 24, 2021

Case of the manipulative EX

After finding out about her yesterday, I googled her and found out she was on Facebook.

I searched for her and, luckily for me, she had no privacy settings so I didn’t have to be her friend to see her pictures.

She turned out to be one of those annoying people who upload cartoons as their profile picture.

In went to her albums, and alas, there she was, the woman who made it difficult for all of us to feel secure in the relationship. I scrutinized her pictures and gleamed at them. I really couldn’t understand what my boyfriend saw in her. I mean sure she had a nice smile, but that is the thing he went out with for so long before me?

That thing is the reason he sometimes doesn’t want to do certain things with me because he used to do them with her.

That thing was the reason we fight over his text messages to her. She was the infamous EX. The one he broke up with four months before he met me but they still keep in touch even though she now lives all the way in South Africa.
Boy, was I glad that she wasn’t a looker; well at least she wasn’t better looking than me, I thought as I launched a massive attack to scrutinize yet another one of her pictures.

I hate the person I have become. How can my worst fear be another woman? How the hell do my fears get wiped out just because the other woman doesn’t look half as good as I do?

Are we really that shallow that we associate beauty with successful relationships? What if by my standards she had been prettier than me?
I would have gone insane and probably pushed my boyfriend away because of a girl he is not even together with.

I can safely say for sure that women reading this article know and understand where I am coming from. By my own admission, it wasn’t the first time I did that with any one of my past boyfriends.

It’s in our genes as women to compare ourselves with the EX and regard her as competition. As harsh as it might sound, women in a relationship are quick to write off the not so good looking Ex.

They tend to be on their toes when the Ex is a looker. And that is when the not so good looking Ex would sneak in and attack what to her is now familiar territory.

She knows things about him that I still don’t know. She probably even knows how to emasculate him in a heated argument.
That is why I don’t want to make that mistake. I want my boyfriend to cut off all contact with his exes because I know exes are good-forÔÇônothings who like to pounce on familiar territory once their current relationships go haywire.

I don’t keep in touch with the people I don’t need in my life anymore. Why the hell does he still keep the privilege of reminiscing about his past? Does he think of getting back together with them if our relationship doesn’t work out?

Men’s excuses are normally that they are FRIENDS. That they shared a history and there is nothing they could do to rid of the history. It happened before me, they said.

Well, I say bollocks and FRIENDS my foot.

I am an EX and I happen to have male ‘friends’, most of whom had tried to get with me even when they had girlfriends. I happen to have observed that my exes only contact me out of the blue when they are looking for something other than friendship.

The thing with boys is they don’t have any manipulative tactics, but girls do. I know that for a fact.

Most girls won’t tell you outright that they want you back; they will come back under the pretext of trying to be friends while praying for an opportunity that would give them a way back into the guy’s heart.

Like when we fight, for example, she will give the guy advise that only we girls know is vindictive.

I hate exes, especially my boyfriend’s exes and I wish they could be wiped off the face of the earth. I like it when my boyfriend hates my exes. I mean, they were all so good-looking, I would hate them too. I think it’s a sign that he cares.

Well the other day, I wrote a letter to one of his exes who like to send him good morning messages.

Dear Former Ms….
I don’t like you much but because we are both women I felt the need to write you this letter in an effort to keep the peace. Gareth no longer loves you, which I think is very unfortunate for you. Woman to woman, I want you to back-off and give us a chance. You have had your turn and you failed.
I know you regret cheating on him and you have discovered that the grass is not always greener out there. Respect the woman’s code and lay off my territory; he is mine now.
I am only going to ask you this once. Next time that horrible wig on your head will be in my hands.
Lovely talking to you.
The one

Of course, I tore up the letter after that. I am not that type of woman. If anyone has met a handsome, sweet, naive but assertive boy who is suffering from amnesia after a recent head trauma, please call me.


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