Thirty-eight-year old Selela Baitlotli has been buffeted┬áby culture shock when he chose the life of homosexuality. His choice was as a result of an abusive mother.
“In life, you might be a victim of abuse and rejection. But it becomes worse when your mother does heinous things to you. It’s either you opt to leave or stay. But as a young boy┬áor girl, there are only few options that you might opt for. It’s either you become a street child, prostitute or homosexual,” says Baitlotli.
It was in 1984 when Baitlotli threw in the towel and told himself that enough was enough. He left his mother home for good as he was unable to contain the pain and anguish that he was going through.
When Baitlotli left his mother’s place, he had already developed hatred against women.
┬áHe had already concluded in his mind that may be his mother’s┬ábehaviour towards him was┬áhow all women treat men.┬á The anguish and pain that he endured instilled a sense of hatred┬átowards┬áwomen.
He told me that if I were a girl, he would have long advised me to go and look for a boyfriend who would buy me food and clothes.
“When I┬ámoved out, that was the time when I chose a wrong sexual orientation relationship. I joined the gay community, which had already found its way into our culture. Gays and lesbians’ life is not a life that instils dignity in you. It’s a game of fantasy that those who are in it are unable to bear children. There is nothing like a seed for human life. It is only about couples who can’t produce,” he explained.
He explained that someone could find himself trapped in a homosexual cycle without voluntarily endorsing┬áit.
He said a gay person will take you to expensive hotels, restaurants or bars.
Baitlotli states that gay lifestyle is all about pleasures. He said at times he would even fail to pay rent because he had to please someone in the relationship.
“When I am unable to pay for rent I will go ask a prostitute to house me while I am looking for money. Gays are usually friends with prostitutes,” he said.
Baitlotli says he is now a changed man. He wants to live what he calls a normal life because people always think that gays are insane. He noted that since he was staying with his younger sister, he saw it fit to change from a homosexual lifestyle.
Currently, Baitlotli says that those he used to hang around with call him names, such as Mmamoruti, Mmamoporofiti.┬á He is adamant that he will rehabilitate some of the people who still believe that homosexuality is the way.┬á
Baitlotli is happy that his mother even asked for forgiveness over what she did to him.
“I am a man of god today and I go to church. I have never shared my life experience with anyone in church. I told myself that I will share this with God because he is the only one who can understand what I have gone through,” he said.
He admitted that he rejected himself because he was unable to cope with abuse where he chose “a life that a human being is not expected to entertain”.
His life as a gay man has taken him to places such as China where he was representing the gay community in Botswana at Mr Gay World┬áin 1990.
Asked what role he was playing in the relationship, Baitlotli explained that gays in Botswana are feminine. “It’s interchangeable; tomorrow I am a┬áman and another day I am a woman,” he added.
He even went as far as Montrino in England where he worked as a professional chef. While he was in the UK, he heard that, in Botswana, there was an organisation that represented gay people’s rights known as Lesbians, Gays and bisexuals of Botswana (LEGABIBO).
He said he was pleased about this hoping that the government would make homosexuality legal like in South Africa.