I have always wondered why I need certain parts of my body.
I mean, is it really necessary to have so many limbs, orifices and other organs making up our bodies?
In my mind, I always thought what we have is a bit excessive and we could all do with a bit less.
When I take a bath, so many of my body parts require my tender loving attention. If I had less of them, I would be in and out of the bath much quicker.
Let’s take the fingers on our hands. Do you mean my life would be less fulfilling if I had only four fingers on one hand instead of five?
I know some people say we have four fingers and the thumb makes up the fifth bit. That is semantics.
We have five fingers.
Besides having one finger solely set aside for the marriage band, why else do we need it for?
The same goes for toes. We don’t need five toes. They are just too many.
They make the foot much larger. That means more leather for making the shoes I wear. By extension that means the shoes become more expensive.
If I had only three toes I am sure I would still live, eat and sleep. We are told we can survive with only one kidney. So why do we need two? The reason people suffer from so many ailments is because they have two kidneys that are always fighting for attention in some form of sibling rivalry.
If man had only one kidney, then it would focus on the business at hand and make sure its owner enjoys a good life.
Coming to think of it, do we need two sets of ears? Methinks not. We can do perfectly well with one ear.
If somebody is speaking to me from the side without the ear all I have to do is turn around to hear what they are saying. In any case, knowing on which side my ear is located no sane person would have any reason to speak to me from the wrong side. I am serious.
Just take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror one day and you will notice how many things that make up your body are simply surplus to requirements.
I am sure we could survive with only one large nostril. Who needs two holes smack in the middle of their face for breathing purposes? Just one large hole there would do the job.
Okay, one may say we would look ugly. But hey to some alien in outer space, I look very ugly the way I am right now with two holes in my nose. In any case, that is no big deal because we would all look the same.
Do we need two eyes?
If eyes were so important then we would have an eye at the back of our heads so as to watch out for any danger that could befall us. We would have an eye at the back to check out all the people whispering behind our backs saying nasty things.
The reason we don’t have a third eye is because we can perfectly survive with two.
In that premise, I suppose we can survive with only one eye.
In my life, I have seen people who get on with life with only one eye. They could have lost their eye in a bar room brawl or through some unfortunate childhood accident. But besides drawing a strange glance or two, they get on with life.
Do we need so many teeth? I don’t think so. I think we have so many teeth for aesthetic reasons.
Next time you eat, pay careful attention to the molars you use for chewing. You are going to be surprised you use only a few. Exactly my point.
All these teeth are ornamental and serve little useful purpose. I am sure we can survive with only a fraction of what we have.
Why should our arms be the same length? It is totally unnecessary. We could have one arm being half the length of its counterpart. I tell you life would go on. We would fashion every implement to suit the arms.
Do human beings have to be so tall?
If all people were the size of dolls, just imagine the resources we would be saving. We would live in doll-size houses. We would wear doll size clothing. We would have even doll kids.
We would eat less and the world would be less polluted and more ozone friendly.
I think whoever created human beings just went overboard when they could have created something much smaller and with less body parts.
I am raising this issue to show that no matter how important you think the many parts of your body are, on the contrary you can actually do without those parts.
If a woman can survive without a beard why does a man need a beard which has to be tended and shaved every day, in the process wasting so much time and resources?
My good friends, at the end of the day, our bodies don’t amount to much. That is why I think we should use our bodies to make money whilst we are still alive.
Right now, the new university has horrified simple people by suggesting we should consider donating our dead relatives to be used in medical research.
Folks are appalled.
They think it is weird. Well, I don’t think so. After all everyone has a useless relative who can serve a more useful purpose in the medical lab. That is how modern science operates. The advances made in modern medicine in the form of cures for the many diseases would not have been possible without human corpses.
In my view, the locals should get around to the idea of having their dead bodies used in the lab. Though I am in total agreement, I just have a slight problem.
Why must my body be used in research when I am dead? Why can’t they start when I am alive? If they want this thing to work they should come up with incentives.
For instance, because I don’t think I need five fingers, why not pay me for one or two of my fingers whilst am still alive? They could then use the pinkies for their research. As far as I am concerned, for as long as they are prepared to pay me good money they can buy any non essential part of my body.
They could take out one eyeball. They could have a few of my toes. They can even go down to the family jewels and take one of them.
They can do all this while I am still alive so that I get to enjoy the proceeds of my body. Then when I am dead they can go ahead and take whatever remains!
