Saturday, March 2, 2024

Follow your bliss

This week, I was plagued by uncertainty; and it shocked me a little to realise just how uncomfortable, even fearful, I felt at not being able to say for sure how my life would unfold next month, or even next year. I like my life so much the way it is that the mere hint of change left me feeling unsettled and, for a moment, powerless.

While some stability or security in life is always a good thing, I couldn’t help but wonder why we fear change so much, particularly if its precise nature is yet to be defined? So often, it feels like what happens in our lives is beyond our control; and the power to decide our future lies out of our hands.

That’s because we tend to forget that we create our own reality; and so we don’t focus on creating the reality we want.

Whether you’re facing retrenchment, bank foreclosure, or the breakdown of a marriage, the truth remains the same – by consistently focusing on what you want instead of what you don’t want, you can positively affect the outcome of any situation.

If there’s a part of your life that’s in flux and you feel apprehensive about it, claim your power back by refusing to ruminate over catastrophic scenarios. Decide what you want, believe you can have it; and it shall be yours.

Yet for many of us, the idea that the fear or uncertainty we feel regarding some aspect of our lives can be dealt with by focusing on what we want remains an unlikely prospect. We’d rather continue to foster the perception that our boss has the power to decide whether or not we have a job next year; or our bank manger the discretion to say whether or not we’ll still live in our house. We abdicate the responsibility for what will happen to us to other people, because in the end it’s easier to blame them for things not going the way we want them to.

For too long, we’ve duped ourselves into believing that we can’t escape the ‘authority figures’ in our lives; and that those at the top of the heap have the ultimate say. At home, we cede power to parents; at school, to the teacher, or headmaster; and at work, to ‘the boss.’

The belief that we have no control over what happens is one reason that many of us spend so much money on psychics, traditional doctors and the like. We believe they can foretell the future and, in some cases, alter it to make it more favourable to us.

In fact, there are alternate futures, or possible realities; and the future changes depending on the way you look at it. In other words, you define your future through your focus.

So if a fortune-teller, or some other person you believe in, claims to be able to ‘see’ that you will be promoted in December, whether or not they see anything is beside the point. Provided you truly believe it, your powerful expectation will result in the promotion.

But if they tell you that your colleagues are jealous of you and are trying to get you fired, sack them, for your fear of getting fired will surely bring it about!

If you, like me, want to take the power to decide your fate back into your own hands and leave other people out of the equation, there’s a much easier way ÔÇô accept that you create your own reality, good or bad. Nobody can alter your experience unless you give them the power to, through your focus.

From now on, decide what you want and why you want it (notice I haven’t said anything about the how, because the latter usually only increases our stress about the unknown).

For instance if you decide that you want a high-paying job in 2011, why do you want it? Will it give you financial freedom; or greater autonomy? How will it make you feel? Free, inspired or fulfilled? Focus on what you want and feel good about it, and you will draw it into your life.

Don’t try to dwell on the specifics of how it will come about too soon; you’ll only end up feeling powerless, particularly if you can’t see an immediate solution.

Some would encourage you to focus on setting a goal and then defining the steps of how you will get there, but that’s no help if you simply can’t imagine the steps.

If all you know is that you want to be a best-selling author, don’t try to immediately work out what your book will be about; who will publish it; or who will buy it. Focus on why you want to be a best-selling author and how you’ll feel when you become one ÔÇô the flow you’ll experience when you’re writing; and the pride that’ll come with recognition. Feel gratitude even before it happens; and let your improved emotional state be the evidence of your progress. Then what you want must show up in your life.

To heighten those positive feelings, this week, try connecting with other people who’ve achieved similar goals. Having positive conversations around your desires will intensify your feelings of excitement around the subject, and turn any feelings of self-doubt and fear into self-belief and positive expectation.

Once you’re positively focused, the ideas for how your goal will come about will start flowing to you; they always do. The signs show up in the most synchronistic and fulfilling ways.

It’s what Joseph Campbell meant when he said, “if you do follow your bliss…the life you ought to be living is the one you are living…You begin to meet people who are in the field of your bliss, and they open the doors to you…Don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be…Doors will open for you that wouldn’t have opened for anyone else.”

So no more fear. Follow your bliss.

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