Saturday, June 22, 2024

Is ‘Till death do us part’ worth the sacrifice?

Although from an African perspective it is a little less dramatic, but minus the rose garden and the white picket fence, many little girls dream of having the perfect marriage with the perfect man and perfect little children filling the house with laughter and love.

However, after only a few years later, reality kicks in they realise that among the roses there are a lot of thorns.

When standing at the altar, a couple takes vows to be with each other through it all until death does them part. After the ululations and celebrations, the couple will then realise the depth and perspective of the vows.

The significance of the altar also has deep undertones because it is actually an “elevated place or structure before which religious ceremonies may be enacted or upon which sacrifices may be offered”.

The operative word in the description of an alter is sacrifice, taking matrimonial vows is the ultimate sacrifice because it is supposed to mark the beginning of a new era in which two identities and personalities are shed and a brand new one is formed.

The sanctity of marriage was, however, just for show from the onset. After prostitution, infidelity could be deemed as the oldest practice and can now be even called a profession, given the benefits that can arise from being in an extra marital relationship. It is so rife that there is even a title for it used casually known as “Married but available”, and discretion is a thing of the past as nowadays people flaunt their illicit affairs. While the women maybe shunned, the patriarchal society often gives the man a pat on the back for “proving his manhood”.

Gone are the days when the norm was women dating married men for money, the roles have reversed and now it’s the men who are dating well off married women for financial benefit.

“Yes, I would date a married woman; I see no impediment to do that. Besides, marriage is just a ring and everything else is not locked,” were the sentiments of a single young man, when asked on whether or not they would engage in an extra marital affair.

“No,” stated another, “I would never get involved with a married woman. I would put myself in the shoes of her husband and imagine if I would like to be cheated on.”

Most women, on the other hand, find it very easy to be involved in an extra marital affair.
One married woman stated that, “I would date other men, even married men, but I would not break my marriage or that of the man I am seeing.”

A young, single woman indicated that, “I like attention, I am the jealous type and I want what’s mine, someone I can have breakfast with, talk to him when I want and talk about him to everyone I please openly.”

On a completely different tangent, another lady explained that not everybody can be married therefore there is nothing wrong with being in an extra marital relationship, performing matrimonial tasks.

‘For better and for worse’, ‘until death do us part’, through the infidelities and illegitimate children, the late nights and some nights out, all that and more…because of the ultimate sacrifice of marriage.


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