Something interesting is taking place in the tiny kingdom this weekend.
I have never been there. But those who have tell stories of its beauty, complete with rolling valleys and green hills. They say the place is so lush and fertile that no one need go hungry. Apparently anyone can walk around and pick fruit growing wild all over the place.
Clearly this is the kind of place that appears in tourist brochures showing happy faces and dancing natives.
Well, the little kingdom also has a king. That is why it is called a kingdom.
But this one is different. In the civilised world, otherwise known as Europe, they decided to get rid of kings and queens long ago. The good people of Europe woke up one morning and decided they were not going to allow a single family to run their affairs on account of being born at the right address. So they put many kings and queens to the sword.
Others had their heads chopped off in the public square. A few were hanged. When it was over Europe ruled the world.
That was before the rise of America. But you see the similarities.
America like Europe is strong and powerful because it is not run by a king. Of course, they do still have kings and queens in Europe. But the ancestors of today’s kings and queens were given a choice. Off to the gallows they go or they cede power to the people.
The difficult ones were promptly dispatched to great cheers from the assembled crowds of commoners. The more sensible ones chose to live by allowing the commoners to run the show. Nowadays, their role is strictly ceremonial. That means they don’t wield any power. They are only allowed to wave at tourists and preside over elaborate rituals dating back thousands of years.
Their kids are also allowed to get drunk in public, chase women and generally provide fodder for the media. In other words, the royal families of Europe exist to provide entertainment. When it comes to serious issues, that is left to elected men and women. That is how things should be.
Little Swaziland has not drawn any lessons from the most civilised place on earth. There they still have a monarchy where the king wields absolute power. I am convinced there must be some intelligent people in the tiny kingdom who are not impressed by the system. Quite why they don’t remove the king baffles me. Do they genuinely believe that simply because he was born at a certain address, the bloke is entitled to run their lives? I think it is high time the people of the tiny kingdom borrowed a leaf from the Europeans. They must either hang the king or chop off his head in the centre of his village.
Anyway, back to this week end. The king of the tiny kingdom is throwing a huge party. He will be presiding over a ceremony called the Reed Dance. This is a huge spectacle where all the maidens of the kingdom congregate at the local square to dance for the king.
The ritual does not end with the dancing. As he watches them parading before him, the king is allowed to choose from amongst them a wife. Judging from his track record the king seems to wield a raging libido.
He has chosen a new wife at each of the reed dances held since his ascension to the throne. Right now he is said to be at wife number fourteen. This should be one of the reasons to remove the king.
There is no way anyone can run a country, no matter how tiny, when there are fourteen women waiting for his comfort. I mean it is practically a full time job. I am sure he never has time to sign any documents. I doubt if he has any time to read them. They say too much sex can make a person go blind. I think the bloke is blind by now. Very soon we will hear he has gone for an eye operation to prepare him for future reed dances.
Again if you are going to parade thousands of the most beautiful maidens before one man, then surely there can’t be many left for the rest of the men in the kingdom. That should be another reason for hanging the king. He is greedy.
That is why the good people of Europe got rid of their kings a long time ago. The commoners were unhappy because there were not enough women to go around. But why am I on the king’s case? Well, it would seem he has invited our president to go and witness the reed dance. Some people are questioning why the president should visit a king who clearly has no time for this funny thing called democracy.
Apparently the king does not like democracy because it would not allow him to choose young maidens every year for his harem. The chap has ignored all calls to introduce democracy. The question is what should the president do?
I take the view that he should attend.
I think it’s high time that little king was given a run for his money.
Look at it this way, the local ladies say the president is a dashing fella. Tall, fit and handsome. They say he is a hunk. I am sure with that lush afro he is. The president also happens to be single. Some village folks say he should get married. I think the man is perfectly fine, wife or no wife.
Anyway let him go to the tiny kingdom. Let him sit through the whole spectacle watching those pretty maidens. And if he takes a fancy to one of them, let the president also choose. I mean you can’t invite a man and tell him not to choose. I just hope that when the president decides to choose a maiden, she will be the most beautiful. Hopefully, she would be the one the king was also eyeing. The lucky girl, if she is smart, would make the right choice. She would opt for the tall, fit and handsome guy with the afro. At least she would not be wife number fifteen. This would leave the king livid that his guest took his favourite maiden. The king would be so furious he would stop all reed dances. And that is how our president would have contributed to the demise of the monarchy in the tiny kingdom.
The moment the reed dances stop, then other reforms can also take place.
Let Ian go and give that little king a run for his money!
