Ever since I made the decision to leave my job and focus on my personal development work, I began noticing how people around me mostly seemed critical of my decision. On numerous occasions when I shared my news with them, they would gasp in horror and remark that I was absolutely nuts.
Most, if not all, of these opinions were offered out of love ÔÇô and fear. Love for me and not wanting to see me make an irreversible mistake; and fear of what might happen as I let go of a regular salary. But the reaction stung all the same.
After hearing several such comments, I started to reflect on what might be causing it. I asked myself why I was attracting negative comments coloured with trepidation about this next unfolding chapter of my life.
Then I realised, I was emitting the signal of fear. The opinions people were expressing simply reflected those that I secretly harboured about my decision, but didn’t dare acknowledge, not even to myself.
You see, our lives always mirror our thoughts and true feelings. For example, if you view people around you as hostile, chances are, you are hostile, or you’re afraid of hostile people. Whatever the case, you’re emitting such a strong signal around the issue of hostility, that you can’t help but attract the same to yourself.
The same goes with love. The people who appear to lead charmed lives and have great relationships, including with individuals whom everyone views as disagreeable, are those who radiate love and so attract love into their lives.
In my case, although I thought I projected confidence, people began to verbalise what I really thought and felt about my new work, which is, because I would mainly be doing it from home, it didn’t even feel like real work. Worse still, I was having fun and relaxed while doing it, so it made me question its true value. After all, where was the struggle associated with ‘real work?’
My feelings were also reflected in the way I communicated my decision to people ÔÇô I tried to justify it with lengthy explanations; and the words I used were clearly fraught with self-doubt and worry about what lay ahead. Although I was happy about the route I’d taken, a larger part of me feared that it was suicidal; so the reactions I got mirrored back my fears to me.
As you look at the mirror of your life, what is it reflecting back to you? Are you surrounded by beauty and excitement; or do you feel lethargic and are barely getting by? Whatever the case, your outer circumstances perfectly reflect your inner feelings about your life.
If you’re like most people, you probably adore some things about your current life, while there’re others that you’re not so crazy about.
Pick one thing that you’d like to change in 2011, but you still feel some resistance about. It could be your goal to lose weight, make a career change, or attract a partner into your life.
Feelings of resistance include things like, ‘I’ve failed several times before to lose weight;’ or ‘I’m not equipped with the necessary skills for my desired career change;’ or ‘I’m unlucky in love and can’t bear to try anymore.’ Identify any negative feelings you might have associated to your goals, for your feelings will absolutely determine what you attract in relation to those goals.
Next, use this ‘focus wheel process’ devised by Jerry and Esther Hicks to help you replace any negative feelings with positive ones. Let’s use the example of wanting to meet a partner to illustrate what I mean.
Take a large sheet of paper and draw a small circle in the centre of the page. Now draw an even bigger circle around it.
Next, draw twelve small circles around the outer perimeter of the larger circle, and position them like the numbers on the face of a clock.
After that, think about what you don’t want and write it down at the top of your page. For example, I don’t want to be hurt or betrayed. Next, focus on what you do want, for example, I want to attract a loving, harmonious relationship into my life. Take the latter positive statement and write it inside the smaller circle.
Afterwards, think of statements that support what you want, for instance: I’ve been in harmonious relationships before and been deliriously happy; or there are numerous relationships in my life that illustrate what a loving, kind person I am. Fill in all twelve circles with really good-feeling, positive statements related to what you want; and feel the knot in your stomach ease as your tension around this subject lifts.
Immediately afterwards, on a separate sheet of paper, write down everything you appreciate about your relationship situation, for example: many people comment on how attractive I am and I’m bound to find a partner soon – anything that lifts your spirits. After that, write down what you appreciate about your life in general.
You see, appreciation is the quickest way to shift and maintain our attention on the positive; and consistently practicing appreciation brings more things to appreciate into our lives.
After I did this exercise, I not only fell in love with my decision and my work all over again, but I started attracting conversations with supportive people who had taken the same route as I did; and loved it!
That’s not to say that everybody suddenly supported my decision ÔÇô it doesn’t matter whether they did or not – it’s that those who remained fearful tended not to enter my experience and if they did, it didn’t discourage me anymore because my decision was now firmly anchored in the positive.
This year, vow to feel good about your life regardless of other people’s opinions about it. Use this exercise to consistently move yourself into a good feeling place; and watch life bring you even more things to feel good about.