Sometimes as human beings, we forget our humanity. We’re so engrossed in the details of our own lives that we don’t spare a thought to others. While I’m a big proponent of personal empowerment – the idea that we can overcome any adversity through our God-given genius ÔÇô there’s also no denying that there’re times when we could do with some encouragement and support.
At times like these, it can be difficult to know who to turn to. We’re reluctant to bother people who’re busy leading otherwise perfect lives. Yet when we know someone is going through a trying time ÔÇô perhaps they unexpectedly lost their job or their family member is in hospital ÔÇô why do we fail to reach out to them and show them compassion?
It’s because in our drive to become independent, we’ve forgotten our interdependence. We’ve forgotten that the richness of life comes from our ability to love and share with other people. In fact sometimes, we’re not simply neglectful; we wilfully ostracize and avoid people we consider failures.
When people fall from grace; when they’re no longer flavour of the month and on the tips of everyone’s tongues, we don’t associate with them. As music legend, Sipho Gumede, observed: “when days are dark, friends are few.” What we forget is, no matter how brilliant, no man is an island; and one day, we just might need the very support we’re denying to others.
Do you know the fable of a mouse, who through a crack in the wall observed a farmer and his wife opening a package? He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap! Retreating to the farmyard, he warned everyone: “There’s a mousetrap in the house!”
Hearing the news the chicken, caught unaware and bereft of any excuse, clucked: “Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is of grave concern to you but it’s of no consequence to me.”
Next the mouse turned to the pig and said, “There’s a mousetrap in the house! What’re we going to do?” Eager to rid himself of the mouse but not wanting to appear unsympathetic, the pig replied diplomatically, “I’m sorry Mr. Mouse, but I’m helpless in this situation. Please accept my condolences.”
Finally the mouse said to the cow, “There’s a mousetrap in the house!” The cow, irritated at being interrupted while he was getting ready for the Sunday League, and unable to see how a little mouse could help him in future, responded, “Sorry Mr. Mouse, but it’s no skin off my nose. Good luck!”
So the dejected mouse returned to the house to face the mousetrap alone.
That night a sound was heard throughout the house – like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey. The farmer’s wife rushed to see what it was. In the darkness, she couldn’t see it was a venomous snake whose tail had been caught in the trap. The snake bit her; and she was rushed to the hospital. She returned home with a fever.
To treat the fever, fresh chicken soup was required, so the farmer slaughtered the chicken, but his wife’s illness continued. Visitors came from as far as Mathangwane and Letlhakane to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig. Unfortunately, his wife’s condition deteriorated until she died. Many people attended the funeral and the farmer had to slaughter the cow to provide enough meat for them all.
As the mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall, he wondered: “Why couldn’t we have just worked together to avert this crisis?”
When someone you know is facing a problem, even if it doesn’t appear to concern you, consider how you can work with them to avoid a possible crisis. Often, it’s enough just to be there, not to serve as a dumping ground for their complaints, but to be the proverbial light at the end of their tunnel.
You can lift people up, rather than them pulling you down. How? By remaining detached enough from their problems to stay focused on the solutions!
When someone asks you for help, arm yourself with positivity! In your mind, hold the intention that your interaction with them will be beneficial. See their brilliance, regardless of their current circumstances. Picture their success, no matter how bad things look. You can train your mind to believe anything, even the unbelievable. Tell them that where they’ve been has nothing to do with where they’re going. And understand that everything you focus your attention on grows!
When you believe in people no matter what, you teach them to believe in themselves. That’s the power of our influence. The way we view people affects the way they see themselves; and ultimately their success. People almost always rise or lower according to our expectations – it’s called the Pygmalion Effect. It’s proof that there’s value in seeing and appreciating the perfection in people.
Don’t look for evidence of success before you’ll see it in others – there’s a seed of success in everyone. Water that seed; watch it evolve into greatness, and revel in the part you played in that.
If you feel like you’ve been deserted in your hour of need, see yourself in a positive light; you will begin to draw positive events into your life. Or, as Muhammad Ali put it, “I am the greatest! I said it even before I knew I was.”
I am my brother’s keeper! As we’re reminded: “Let us not grow weary while acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season, we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” (Galatians 6:9).
Join us for the ‘Power of A Positive Mindset’ Workshop on 6 October 2012, from 3-5pm at Bluetree World of Golf. Cost: P350.
*Primrose Oteng is a Master of Applied Positive Psychology; and the Founder of the Positive Peace Project, an organization dedicated to creating positive change through personal empowerment. To find out more visit: www.positivepeaceproject.co.bw
