Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Paparazzi Corner

For those of you (men) who do not have plans for the weekend, you have been saved.

Broke and bored men have now found a new hobby; they go to baby showers! They pretend to give it fancy names like men’s after showers or Daddy showers so that they, too, could get an excuse to drink and get presents.
What do they bring to a daddy shower?

Strippers and alcohol? Somehow I don’t think that gets anybody ready for a coming baby. Besides, it’s not like men are the ones who will be giving birth to a 3kg baby. Or asked silly questions like: what were you thinking having unprotected sex when you were not ready for a baby?

A man friend of mine was recently dumped flat on his face for treating his very pretty girlfriend like a weekend special.

What is it with men? They promise to call you, don’t reply your messages but come weekend time, they come to your house drunk, talking about how they missed you all week? Well then how come you didn’t visit?

I am quite sure they can squeeze us in for about 30 minutes twice a week in their hectic and busy schedule.

Brenda sure did know what she was talking about when she sang: ‘You don’t come around, to see me in the week. You don’t have the chance to call me on phone, but Friday night…’

The new generation of young, powerful and smart women (gypsw) has this week decided to stop having babies with local men. They took inspiration from neighbouring South Africa’s rainbow nation.

According to the director of GYPSW, Rachel Shaw, rainbows contain different colours and the women in her organization were certainly a colourful lot. Statistics have also revealed that by 2016, the number of single mothers with black children is most likely to rise.

“We have decided to be smart enough to prevent this from happening, so we are targeting white men, coloured men and Chinese men. I am not so sure about Indians though, therefore if we are to be single mothers we don’t want to be part of a statistic,” said Shaw.

In a meeting held at a fancy conference centre for classy women, Bul and Bush, a conclusion was reached that it’s about time for men who are always on the passenger seat to stop courting girls on the streets. It is simply appalling.

“The other day, a guy was leaning out the window while his friend, who also happened to be more good looking that his counterpart, was driving. He called out to me:

“Hey babe you need a ride?”
I was like, what? “Are you jumping off so I could take your place?”

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The Telegraph September 23

Digital edition of The Telegraph, September 23, 2020.