Psalm 39:1 says ‘I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin. I will put a muzzle on my mouth’.
Words are powerful and derisive. They, especially unkind or contemptuous words, stay with us for decades to come. Even when we try to withdraw filthy words we used in jest, it usually has no effect because the words would have already sunk into our memory. There is an old war slogan that says ‘careless words cost lives’. They can cause wars; can cause you to commit suicide or even land you in prison. In Botswana for instance, if you jokingly tell a woman that you will kill her, you might as well kiss good-bye to your freedom. Do you remember when former British Prime Minister Gordon Brown was caught with the microphone whispering that Gillian Duffy was a bigoted woman?
Of course, he later turned around to say that he never thought Gillian was a bigot. Why did he say it in the first place if he didn’t mean it? The truth is that the problem is not so much that the tongue slips to lie; the problem is that it actually slips to tell the truth. It normally turns to give us away when we are into full pretense. It reveals in no small measure, through words spoken, the bastards thoughts in our minds and betrays our pretense. When President Khama was encouraged to get himself a woman, he ‘jokingly’ remarked that women are troublesome. On that occasion it was reported that his ‘rented’ audience enjoyed the ‘joke’ as they laughed so much. Was the president really joking?
President Khama is a revered figure, a national icon and a celebrity that is worshipped by multitudes within and across borders. When he speaks many people listen and swallow his words hook, line and sinker. Presently, discipline and alcohol must probably be the most widely used words in Botswana owing to his emphasis on discipline and his expressed dislike for alcohol.
Thus, it is doubtless that President Khama commands considerable influence among many people across the gender divide through his words and deeds. Certainly when he comments that he is reluctant to marry because women are troublesome, it is expected that a lot of men will buy into his distasteful views to discredit, mock and abuse (physically, emotionally and verbally) women in a way that will significantly reverse the gains recorded in empowerment of women and campaigns against domestic violence. I shudder to imagine the number of women who have since been raped, beaten or murdered on account of President Khama’s condescending views on women. When he revealed that he did not want Daniel Kwelagobe as Chairman of the Botswana Democratic Party (BDP) because he was old and sickly, it is safe to postulate that a considerable number of people across the political divide turned against Kwelagobe and our old and sickly parents.
Such behavior and attitudes connotes open and direct dislike for the elderly and those in poor health. Thus, President Khama’s attitude toward Kwelagobe has the potential to incite his followers/believers and others to develop negative attitudes towards older adults and sick people and ultimately discriminate against them. Can you imagine how his behavior and attitude could undermine decades of work of professionals in and outside of his government lobbying for gender equality and respect for senior citizens? There have been concerns that our senior citizens are not being accorded the respect and care they deserve. President Khama’s comments about Kwelagobe’s age and health must have given many young people reason to feel proud about their disdain for and lack of respect for the elderly. Perhaps President Khama was honest about his views on women and Kwelagobe, because the tongue, through the words it spews, reveals the truth about us and our thoughts. So that his words were most probably not just a slip of the tongue but represented his honest views about women and the elderly.
Not that the President does not have to let it all hang out or tell it like it is, but that as a father figure and local God to many people, he needed to be mindful of his choice of words. He needed to give serious attention to his words and thus choose words carefully to model goodness and respect for everyone. Perhaps Kenneth may have considerable space to speak impulsively, recklessly and irresponsibly but President Khama has no such room. He needs to be a good example of a man who has respect for women however strongly he may feel against them.
In the contrary, President Khama’s attitudes conveyed by his deliberate choice of objectionable and inappropriate words shows that he actually sees others as less important or worthless. The president is therefore challenged to be more discreet is his choice of words more than anyone else.
He must quickly learn to respond with thoughtfulness and always remain alive to the fact that many people rejoice and find satisfaction in copying his words and deeds and may not really care about the effects of such on others. He must not allow his moods and feelings to takeover his tongue. In the Bible it is written, ‘my dear brothers, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry’ (James 1:19). Careless and rude words spoken in anger, frustration, thoughtfulness, downright malice or excitement have the potential to undermine the entire good work of the government and legitimize assault on women. There is an old adage that goes, ‘if you cannot say anything nice about others, do not say anything at all’. Rather than unfairly demonizing women, Khama should have at least told those who are pestering him to marry to go and hang. Perhaps we need to remember the effects of former South African President Thabo Mbeki’s dismissal of HIV as the cause of AIDS had on many South Africans. Of course Mbeki was entitled to his views but as a national figure, he should have been more tactful rather than blunt. No wonder, his Minister of Health ultimately sold the idea of beetroots, quack medicine and other concoctions to the people of South Africa and caused many to succumb to the deadly virus through their careless objection to the provision of ARVs.
As a Head of State Mbeki’s opinions on HIV/AIDS shaped South Africa’s overall position towards HIV/AIDS, particularly the decision not to provide subsidized ARVs thus effectively sentencing millions to death. Thus, for a head of state to be so careless in his choice of words, remarking as he did that women are trouble makers, is inexcusable and tantamount to hate speech.
A lot of people are hypnotized by President Khama so much that if he were to urge them to commit mass suicide, they could do it. Talking might be cheap but cheap talk can be costly.
God be in our mouths and in our speaking to help us choose the right words whether in difficult or joyous situations. Amen
