Sunday, September 20, 2020

Ray of Sunshine or Black Hole?

Are you a ray of sunshine or a black hole? Do you leave people feeling better or worse as a result of their interactions with you? Do they feel energized or drained of their good feelings? Your response to those questions should give you a clue as to which of these categories you may fall under.

We all project a certain type of energy about us, which influences what happens to us. The law of magnetism – the law that we attract the same energy that we project – is alive and at work in our lives.

Quantum physicists explain this phenomenon through string theory; the theory that everything in the universe is made up of vibrating strings of energy, including us; and that what we do with our minds, as well as our energy, influences what we attract.

If you doubt the importance or existence of energy waves and patterns, consider the impact they have had on our lives so far, through cell phones, microwaves, remote controls and even MRI scans. While we can’t see energy waves, we can see their effects, so there’s no doubt in our minds that they exist.

The same is true of the energy that you project. Although most of us can’t see it ÔÇô usually, only skilled energy practitioners can read your aura ÔÇô your personal energy affects how your life turns out.

In fact, our energy is the first thing people notice about us. We communicate as much, if not more, through what we radiate than what we say or do. Think about the last time someone smiled at you but you sensed hostility; or you felt inexplicably drawn to the warmth of a complete stranger? Your energy either draws people in or repels them.

Our energy also determines what we draw into our lives. For me, the one time I ever got robbed was when I visited a certain country on holiday. For some reason, I spent much of my time in fear of an attack of some kind. Within a week, my purse containing my passport and all my cash had been snatched. I knew immediately that the energy of fear I had been projecting was responsible, so I sat in quiet meditation and prayer; and practiced cultivating more loving, peaceful energy. Within two hours, my passport and air ticket had been tossed out and picked up by people who returned them to my hotel. This is a true story, one that demonstrates just how important it is to be meticulous about the energy we project, particularly through our thoughts.

Life happens; and none of us can radiate positive energy all the time. However, when something negative does happen, honour your feelings of anger or disappointment, but move through them as quickly as possible and reach for more hopeful and joyful thoughts.

Often, however, when we feel bad, we reach for someone to talk to. We corner our friends into lunch and spend the entire hour spewing vitriol about our ex. Regardless of how good it feels at the time, the same negative energy you are projecting will continue to affect you in the ways you are complaining about; and likely spread to other areas of your life. Worse still, now you’re not the only person feeling depressed, your friend is too.

You must have realized this in your own life. Consider your energy before and after your interactions with certain people. If you feel better after spending time with someone, they are likely to be a ray of sunshine in your life; spend more time with them. But if after your interaction with someone you feel moody or insecure, the chances are good that you’ve been sucked in by a black hole. Make a plan to get out.

People don’t mean to be black holes, even the incorrigible neurotics. In most cases, they genuinely believe that a problem shared is a problem solved. The trouble is, unless you’re careful about how you share discouraging news, both people wind up feeling worse.

I’m not saying that you should avoid people with problems, or lack empathy. But do remember that you can’t be miserable enough to make someone else happy. So before you allow yourself to be sucked into someone else’s drama, ask yourself, who is this helping? Unless you remain disciplined enough to lift your friend up instead of them dragging you down, avoid negative interactions.

Next time you feel miserable, try to make yourself feel better before seeing other people. Try keeping a journal, but instead of writing about how much you hate someone, write down: what happened; how it made you feel; and what you now want for your life. For example, my boss excoriated me in front of my subordinates. I felt humiliated. I want to be treated with respect by all my colleagues. Let your thoughts around these three areas flow.

Next, try to find things to appreciate about your boss ÔÇô this may be difficult at first so you can always start with the obvious: his good taste in cars; his strong family values etc. Remember, you’re not doing this for him; you’re doing it for you. Allow your appreciation to flow into other aspects of your life by noting down all the things you’re grateful for. Watch your mood change and your energy become lighter. That sensation of relief you feel, like a weight has just been lifted off your chest or the knot in your stomach has gotten a little less tight, is an energy shift. It will affect what you attract from the world around you.

Before meeting up with people in professional or personal settings, try to visualize your interaction as uplifting beforehand. If you can’t manage this, delay it – far better to take time in positive preparation than engage in damage limitation. Cultivate happiness in your life and use it to attract more of the same. Be a ray of sunshine, not a black hole.

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Sunday Standard September 20 – 26

Digital copy of Sunday Standard issue of September 20 - 26, 2020.