Wednesday, April 14, 2021

When a Motswana man cooks

For a very long time it has been known across cultures that a woman’s place is in the kitchen and that the man belongs out there somewhere in the corporate world.

If we go even further back in history, men were hunters and women were gatherers. This automatically meant that the woman didn’t wonder too far from the kitchen while the man went out into the wild to bring back a kill to compliment the dinner plate.

But when a man decides to go into the kitchen and cook for loved ones or, better still, when he decides to turn cooking into a career and become a chef, what a sight to behold! And here I confidently speak for the ladies.

Except for very unique situations, when we grow up as children the conditioning was such that the kitchen is the furthest thing from the boy child’s natural habitat.

At weekends when the domestic workers are off duty, the normal picture in many homes is that the girls do all the cooking and cleaning with their mothers while the boys go to the cattle post with their fathers.

In families where the father has no cattle post you would rather find the boys so involved in sport, from gym to video games to social football, mentioning but a few. All of which steal boys away from the kitchen.

At gatherings, the only cooking that men do is that of cows because, traditionally, all the dissections of the animal mean something and men are to handle the distribution of such.
We have evolved and quite happily so; we look forward, as women, to going home to husbands who are more than willing to help. They have even made it fashionable.

Men who are willing to share chores with their partners are by far the best thing that God has ever made. I no longer fear getting married; wondering what is going to become of me.

I know that I can look forward to a man that will hold my hand when I need him.

The roads that we travel nowadays as both boy and girl children are monumental. We have so many huddles along the way. We both stumble and fall at almost the same capacity. But when we have each other as couples, the load is lightened.

It is no longer rare to find a woman going to the cattle post with her husband every weekend, and proudly so. The two help each other all the way there and back. The woman makes sure her man and the people that help him realise his farming dream are well fed and taken care of.

When we return from our daily endeavours, we do not expect to find a dictator at home, somebody that just sits there and asks who does this and who does what. Everyone wishes to fling open the door to find a role player in their team.

Whoever has energy to spare must get up and save the day, and stop running away from responsibility by being quick to point fingers.

Watching my child grow is very comforting for me because he is coming into a world of more stress but less at the same time. I feel the need to groom him into knowing that just because a chore is domestic does not mean it is easy. Everybody could use a helping hand; superman and superwoman need each other all the time. In the end I strongly believe that is what keeps them together and in the end makes their world go round.

I believe everything in life is connected. Countries, communities and societies begin with family and family begins with man and woman. We can lay blame all we like, but if we do not start things from behind our own closed doors and make them happen, all we will have left is endless sorrow. Maybe it is easier said than done but could we at least try and do something? No one carries the load alone in the ideal world, that is very true and that is why the need to start small; with building strong and stable families. Ultimately, we will create a stronger and united community, this can only snowball into a stronger and united country and as we all wish a stronger and more united world.

When a Motswana man cooks, I feel so inspired. I feel like finally the world is beginning to move forward. The man has now stepped in at home to take care of his own.

The thing that would comfort me the most as a Motswana woman when I walk down that isle is to know that my hand is being held by a man with whom we will stand together come what may. I want to know that should I have to go on holiday or take care of career matters that require me to be away from my home, I can rest assured that I have left behind a father.

In my beautiful Botswana I realise this everyday being affirmed by my generation; we have made progress as men and women of the morden world!

We know the importance of good and healthy home cooking regardless of gender.


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