By Ruth Kedikilwe
It is very easy to succumb to social pressure of fitting in to be perceived as normal as can be in any given circumstances hence the invention of the little white lie which is not entirely damaging but is comprised of half lies and half truths. The biggest little white lie is that most men seem to be constantly telling is making themselves appear more macho than they actually are, more gifted size wise in body parts down south than your average man, how much money they make and t heir ability to satisfy their partners with immense sexual prowess second to none during intimate relations.
Most of the above they can get away with however the inability to get and maintain an erection during intercourse seems to be extremely emasculating and is responsible for a few bruised egos to say the least. However as people grow older and compare notes many men realize that erectile dysfunction or impotence can and will happen to every man in their lifetime, not exactly dinner table conversation material but worthy to be discussed to make people realize that they are not alone in this quest to please women.
According to a 27 year old Stephen* he thought his life was over when he had his first ‘failure to launch’ encounter, apart from having to deal with this unfamiliar physical defect at a tender age of 23 he was also faced with an unhappy woman who had no desire to continue with any form of relationship with him. “We were in the same post graduate program and the university was not big enough for the both of us. I was ashamed and embarrassed to be alive and it took me a while before I went back on the saddle,” he said. Stephen claims to have low-key started his own investigation of what could have transpired leading to the ‘shameful’ (in)activity.
No study regarding impotence has been conducted in Botswana however a small sample of 2,000 British men found that 50% of those in their 30s reported difficulties in getting and maintaining an erection. However a Doctor Patrick Selemo during an interview indicated that at his clinic he deals a lot with men who come for help with impotence he explained a very intricate process that is very necessary to undergo before dealing with the actual problem. “First we need to establish that the patient has not taken any potentially toxic herbs as a means of self medication prior to seeking medical attention as we know how hard it is for men to come to the hospital,” said Dr Selemo.
He further explained that in the past few years he has been practicing he has realized that impotence is more of a secondary condition with primary cause, thus it is more of a side effect of other things that could be happening in the patient’s life. There is the physical cause which could be the result of other illnesses affecting the ability of a man to get and hold an erection. There is also the psychological cause where the patient’s mind is preoccupied or processing a lot, stress and anxiety. Then there is the worst case scenario where it is cocktail of both the physical and psychological factors contributing.
Before running for the hills and imposing a celibacy ban it is important for men to consider the many possibilities and work on them to delay further embarrassing moments. Men are hardly authentic when talking about their sex lives however impotence must not go unchecked as it could be the result of something bigger (no pun intended).