I enjoy visiting foreign countries because that gives me the opportunity to appreciate the goodness of my country or, in some instances, rue the day I was born a Motswana. When I’m out of the country, I observe, minutely, the similarities and the differences that exist between my country and those that I visit. I observe how they do things and pick on what we can learn from them.
Swaziland is one country I visit every year, at least for the past four years, without fail. Yes, I am a regular at the Swazi annual Reed Dance (Umhlanga). Perhaps I must clear something here about me and the Reed Dance.
My friends believe I attend the event because I enjoy feasting my eyes on those semi naked girls who parade before the King. Truly speaking, I cannot travel such a long distance, cross so many borders, just to go ogle girls’ breasts, some the same age as my daughter.
Yes, I’m straight and, as such, it’s only natural for any straight man to be fascinated by such a parade of nubile women. However, my interest is more on Swaziland politics. Besides, I have a very beautiful girlfriend whose breasts I don’t only have the permission to look at but can touch too. So, really, for me, there’s more than just tits to explore in Swaziland.
While in Swaziland last week, I made some observations on King Mswati, which made me realise he has a lot in common with President Ian Khama. Even though they clearly do not share the same amount of appetite when it comes to women, the two gentlemen pass for twin leaders.
Let me begin with a coincidence that might appear trivial yet crucial when documenting the two leaders’ CVs. Khama is a graduate of Sandhurst Military School in England. Mswati, too, graduated in England. He is a product of Sherborne School in England. The two leaders both currently hold positions that were previously held by their late fathers. Khama wore diapers at the State House and now wears suits at the same place.
Semi-naked girls parade in front of Mswati at the very same place they did to Sobhuza, his late father. So, in short, the two gentlemen have carried on their fathers’ legacies.
President Khama has become known for his donations of blankets to the elderly. Well, his ‘twin’ in Swaziland doles out shoes.
A day before the Reed Dance, a total of 21 000 pairs of sneakers worth R1.8 million were given to the excited maidens at the Royal Residence. If you have witnessed how excited our grandparents become when they receive the blankets from Khama, then you don’t need any elaboration from me as to how excited those young girls were on being presented the sneakers.
They even sang a song calling for the King not to allow political parties in the country. Look, I’m one person who believes in the goodness of giving and, as such, I’m humbled by those who find it within their means to give to the needy. I am not even suggesting Khama and Mswati’s donations are no gestures of benevolence. However, the selection of the beneficiaries leaves room for suspicion and speculation. Khama gives blankets to the old folk because they are known to be the ones who are always patient to queue and vote for his party without questions. Mswati gives shoes to the maidens as some sort of enticement because in recent years many young Swazi women are now reluctant to participate in the Reed Dance celebrations.
Khama’s leadership has been accused of extra-judicial killings. We all still remember the case of John Kalafatis. His killers were prosecuted, found guilty, jailed and then pardoned by the President.
Well, his counterpart in Swaziland was not to be outdone. A certain guy, by the name of Scarface Masina, has become posthumously famous in Swaziland just as did John Kalafatis in Botswana. Just like Kalafatis, Masina was gunned down by security operatives. Though he was the most wanted man in Swaziland for crimes such as robbery, rape and kidnapping, many people are of the view his killing was unjustified more so he was not armed when the police found him, completely off-guard.
President Khama has deported several foreigners who were charged with insulting him. In Swaziland they too kick out foreigners who misbehave. A Chinese supervisor at some textile company was deported after he spat at an employee while on duty.
In Botswana, President Khama announced the President’s Housing Appealing, or something to that effect, where individuals and companies were asked to donate towards building houses for the poor. The last time I checked the list of donors in the Daily News, it was clear Ramoroka will have to increase the newspaper pages.
In Swaziland, King Mswati introduced the King’s Golf Cup and declared that golf should be used as a vehicle to transform and enhance the country’s economic status. Before he could finish his speech, companies had thrown in donation cheques worth R1.1 million.
Mswati has forgiven and re-instated teachers who were sacked during the strike, exactly the same way Khama did with public servants who he sacked here during the strike. Now the two leaders are viewed as Messiahs after sacking and then re-instating workers.
One thing you got to love about Khama and Mswati is that they are charismatic and have senses of humour: charmer boys of some sort. And while city dwellers always make noise about how they run their countries, the two leaders have an amazing following in the rural areas.
I enjoyed Swaziland, as always, and I hope my girlfriend will give me the ‘visa’ again next year. I also wish to thank my travelling companions at this year’s Reed Dance. I’m now family with Puni Bagotsi, Dineo Kgame, Ditsile Selemogwe, Phomolo Lekgalemo, Itirele Kabelo, Kopano Harvey, Lesego Matasane, Minkie Simane and the wonderful newlyweds Gaaesi Western Morake and his warm-hearted wife Kutlwano Fillie Morake. Next time I’m in Palapye I will be eating my lunch at FilWesto Restaurant, for sure.
