Monday, September 28, 2020

MARRIAGES AND WEDDINGS

What’s in these two, and which is more significant?

Quoting from the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, marriage “is a legally recognised agreement between a man and a woman making them husband and wife” and then “a wedding is a marriage ceremony and the party which follows it”.

Looking at the meanings of the two, there seems to be a difference but I think they are similar since they do the same purpose of uniting a couple and celebrating their love.
In our African culture, a man has to meet a woman, pay the bride price to the woman’s family as a token of appreciation then that is when they get to prepare the actual wedding celebration with the help of close friends and family.

Thing is times might have changed about how elders used to conduct celebrations back in the older days, so cant we try at least copy a bit of what they did?
My point here is: people focus much on the wedding ceremony instead of on planning how they are going to live together as a married couple, forgetting that marriage is a lifetime commitment that needs you to focus on long term strategies to address issues of stages in marriage and also build on strengths and areas of challenges.
Ok fine, I know most of us want to have lavish weddings and see ourselves in our own dream weddings, a spectacular one that will be talk of the town for the year, but are we financially able to meet those standards of having to invite the world to come witness the beauty that we have created?

Because we have invited the world, we would go to the extent of taking mortgage loans, which would really bring us down, instead of going up, since we would be starting a family. For the following five years, it would be a struggle trying to pay all the expenses we used for the wedding and at times might even be the center of acrimony in the marriage.

“I gave you your dream wedding; I satisfied your family by throwing a memorable wedding ceremony and now I get to pay…”

How painful is it to hear someone say this even though he/she agreed on every decision you took and there were no exceptions, why now?

The focus was on you then. You were celebrating and the world really cheered you up then.

But let me tell you something that I have realised, those very people you tried so hard to impress will not be there to help you pay back all the monies you spent.

So, from me to you my fellow brothers and sisters, let us take time to save up for our dream weddings so that we can pay from our savings rather than from bank loans.

What I am trying to say is: if you can’t have saved enough try celebrating in a way that won’t require you to pay too much later. Invite close friends, family and relatives.

Since we have funeral plan policies, can’t we have policies cater for wedding plans?

I know that it’s not a guarantee that we will all get married but I think the idea of having a wedding plan policy would really help most of us.

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