A few days ago, the cellphone network collapsed and for the entire day I was rendered incommunicado.
Literally my world came to a standstill. So did that of everyone because today practically every single person owns a cellphone. I then reflected back to the old days. When the gadget first appeared, it caused a sensation. Those lucky to own them were very proud indeed.
They strutted around like peacocks in full plume. The gadgets were so rare that lesser mortals would immediately crowd around a proud owner. Playing to the gallery the owner would place a call and at the top of his voice share the contents of his conversation with an awestruck crowd of admirers.
In the early days, all cellphone conversations were of a happy type. I don’t recall anyone breaking down in tears in front of fawning admirers because the news delivered was of a bereavement.
Cellphones brought happiness. Mind you they were not the sleek space age gadgets of today. The early models were ugly and heavy, complete with a protruding aerial. They also tended to stay in a waist pouch when not in use. The pouch had a useful role. It ensured when the gadget rang, it would go on for some time while the owner struggled to free it. The delay was for effect. Any crowd gathered around would look to see who was the owner of the wonder gadget that just rang. Be it a funeral or a wedding, the owner would rise to his feet, tip toe away from the gathering and bellow a greeting to the caller on the other end.
Everyone would momentarily forget what they had come for and stare in the direction of the proud owner. The conversation would be prolonged and finish with exaggerated farewells. Returning to his seat the man who owned the cellphone would sweep his gaze across the gathering, and wearing a broad smile return the gadget to its cozy home in the pouch, hoping to receive another call soon.
The early owners of cellphones were much admired and treated with reverence. No one would dare chastise them for letting their gadgets disturb a gathering. Like a naughty, but favourite child they were indulged. They were indulged because the have nots aspired to a day when they too would own a gadget and enjoy fame and admiration. It must be said that the early owners of cellphones were just like the early owners of television sets. The children of parents who owned a television set were worshipped as if the set belonged to them and not their parents. Some of us rebels who did not give a damn about the lucky kid were banished from his home and not allowed to come and watch. The bootlickers were invited to come over. But only through the window or a door left slightly ajar.
As for the rebels, we watched from the street. No one could banish us from the street. It belonged to all. If the spoilt kid did not want us to watch from the street he would have to close the curtain completely. But that would mean shutting out the bootlickers who protected him from vengeful bullying at school. For his survival he had to keep half the curtain open for his lackeys and in that way, from the street, we too could enjoy the magic of blurred images.
Not only did the bootlickers watch half the images on the screen because the curtain obscured the other half, but they also had to contend with watching the family having supper. I guess it was what you could call a double feature. Afterall, it meant watching television and also watching the family tucking into the kind of supper only families who owned television could eat.
Today, it would be called reality television. Anyway early cellphone owners were just like the owners of the fridge. Never mind that for practically the entire time the fridge stood bare, lonely and forlorn, containing only ice cubes and water bottles, it was still a big deal to own one. The kid whose home had a fridge had to be treated with appropriate respect. Just like with television owners, there were sanctions imposed on those who did not toe the line of the brat whose parents had managed to acquire their fridge on hefty hire purchase terms.
The only thing he could offer his lackeys were ice cubes to crunch on. Those whose parents did not qualify for hire purchase and loved ice cubes but did not own a fridge had to treat the kid with deference.
Initially, we would be excited that the fridge came with all the food and other scrumptious delicacies we saw in the catalogue. When we learnt that it came only with two water bottles and the ice cube containers we lapsed back into our rebellious ways and denied the kid our deference. Those who were prepared to be bootlickers for the sake of crunching ice cubes could do so.
We were not prepared to stoop so low. Due to the fine print in the hire purchase agreement, for some families the fridge would arrive and after a few months the delivery van would arrive to cart it off for defaulting. In all honesty, I never saw a television set being carted off for defaulting on payments. When the street watchers arrived one of the bootlickers would come to us and sadly announce there was no television because it had gone for repairs. It would be gone forever. After some time the kid whose parents took their television for repairs would swallow his pride and jostle for his space at the window or door of another newly affluent family.
Heaven was a time when the parents of one of the rebels purchased a set and the kids who had sunk back into poverty when theirs vanished forever to the repair shop would be too ashamed to watch from behind the curtain or doorway and instead join a batch of new rebels on the street.
Those were the days. It has now happened with cellphones. Nowadays everyone owns the gadget and the thrill is gone. People who own cellphones don’t get to enjoy fame and admiration anymore. It is no longer a status symbol. It has gone the way of the fridge and the television set. Everyone owns the appliances. Pity!
