Friday, May 24, 2024

‘Small Houses’ have legitimised infidelity

In the good old days, it was almost taboo for a woman to be seen in the company of a married man.

That mentality seems to have slowly faded away. Cheating on spouses is slowly becoming something to be proud of in our modern society. It has become acceptable to see married men in the company of young girls other than their partners.

There is an old Setswana saying that goes: “monna selepe oa adimanwa”, loosely meaning that ‘a man is an axe and can be borrowed out’. It seems guys have now taken this very seriously; infidelity has become the order of the day.

Botswana laws do not recognise polygamy.

Men are allowed to marry only one wife. This is not the case with some married men, because even after swearing under oath to be committed to his one wife and be parted only by death, in reality though, many of these guys are committed to more than one lady.

I won’t say our forefathers are heroes who were always loyal to their partners. Men have always cheated. I know because more often than not I have I met people who share the same father yet their mothers were married to different men. Goes to show how discreet extra marital affairs were kept.

That’s not the case with our guys of today. They just couldn’t care less and really love to show off their skimpily dressed ‘trophies’ at pubs, social gatherings, and shopping malls, even introducing them to colleagues.

I always ask myself if these kids don’t feel any shame.

Holding hands with another woman’s husband in public is definitely not something to be proud of. You should see them fixing their man made hairpieces in the mirrors of these guys’ SUVs, acting like they own them. Sies!

Whoever said money can’t buy love should visit Botswana.

Here, if your pockets are right, a married man can go out with any girl he pleases. I don’t think any girl would want to date a broke married guy.

Many, if not most, of these ladies are in the relationship for financial gain. Though most of the ladies I interviewed for this article wouldn’t admit it, these girls are in it for financial gain.
They go out with married guys, milk them dry and enjoy the money with their real same-age boyfriends.

Betsie Maleba of Tlokweng is unemployed and says she has dated quite a few married man and they are all the same. She says these are just guys who are bored and looking for a bit of fun and excitement.

“While I believe some men cheat on their spouses because of misunderstandings at home or even at work, I have gone out with guys who have been married for over 30 years and are just bored but when we go out once they meet my friends and down a few drinks, they start acting like fourteen year olds.”

Betsie believes married women are to blame for their spouses’ infidelity.

“Once women are married, they dedicate so much time to the family that they sometimes forget about taking good care of themselves. When the husbands come home from work they find them in the kitchen wearing the same dress he left her in when going to work in the morning, smelling like the curry she has prepared for dinner. That’s what turns off the husband.”

She says women need to know and remember that they need to always look presentable and smell good for their husbands in order to keep the fire burning.
These mistresses are well looked after.

While some guys will rent houses for their girlfriends, popularly referred to as “small houses”, depending on their financial status others buy cars or even houses.

Many men get milked dry by these little cockroaches they call lovers. Relationships suffer because now Daddy is spending more time with his small house than with his wife and kids. The money that could have been used for a well-deserved family holiday goes to a Japanese car dealer in Mogoditshane.

No wonder we have such high divorce rates in Botswana. Once the monies run out or the guy gets bored with his mistress, that’s when they return home to a hurt, angry and frustrated if not depressed wife who would be just too happy to file for divorce.
Professionals attribute growing divorce rates to immorality.

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