It will be a sigh of relief for local politicians as this week I am not writing about any of them. I’m in Swaziland attending the Umhlanga (annual reed dance). Botswana politics can wait.
Nonetheless, I need to alert BDP’s Kentse Rammidi and BCP’s Mogomotsi Lemogang that I have already read about their conflicting stories where the BCP councilor is reported to have made claims that Assistant Minister Honorable Rammidi tried to ‘buy’ him into joining the BDP while Rammidi on the other hand rubbishes off the councilor’s claims and insists councilor Lemogang is the one who asked to be given money if he was to leave the BCP for the BDP. Well like I said, this week I have no time for local politics but all I can say about the story of Honorable Rammidi and Honourable Lemogang is, one of them is being dishonorable and is in fact lying to the nation because there is no how both their versions can be true. It’s either Rammidi offered the money or Lemogang asked for the money. Period!┬á
Anyway back to Swaziland. So here I am at the Ludzidzini which is the Royal residence for the Queen Mother located between Mbabane and Manzini and where the reed dance takes place annually at the end of August. I came here out of curiosity to witness what the reed dance is all about. The world over, people have come to know this event as an occasion where His Majesty the King gets to pick his next wife. We have heard media reports claiming that on this day semi naked women parade before the King and he chooses the woman of her choice to add to his battalion of wives. Infact I came here with hope of seeing the King choose his 14th wife. I must say I have learnt quite a lot about the reed dance and I bet many people have been given distorted facts about the reed dance. Now let me explain what happens during the Umhlanga.
┬áThe truth is, yes indeed semi naked girls parade before the King. This is an event that goes on for seven days. The first day is for registration when maidens from across the entire Kingdom gather in Ludzidzini to register for participation. The second day is when the maidens go out to the bush for camping and briefing. On the third day they cut the reeds and the following day that is when they return to Ludzidzini. The fifth day is reserved for rest and this is when the maidens prepare their attire for big event the following day. The Umhlanga begins with the maidens bathing in open spaces without a care about onlookers. They are then groomed before they take the reeds to the Queen Mother’s residence. The reeds are given to the King’s mother to build and renovate the wind breakers that surround her compound. The girls wear short beaded skirts with anklets, bracelets and colorful sashes. The royal princesses pierce red feathers in their hair and lead the maidens to perform before the King and the Queen Mother (King Mswati’s mother). I must confess the King has beautiful daughters and this is simply because their mothers are equally beautiful. The King chooses light skinned beautiful women only. ┬á
As the girls come and drop their stacks of reeds, the King is standing by as they slowly pass in front of him singing and smiling. Ok, the King doesn’t necessarily pick his next wife there and then as they parade before him. What happens is, if one of the girls catches the King’s eye and knocks him over his feet, the King would then identify her and propose to her just the way any other man would but of course with vast chances of success. Infact the King doesn’t have to only confine his choice to the semi naked girls but can choose any lady in the land and at any event apart from the reed dance. He once picked from Miss Teen beauty contest. Only he has to choose someone who doesn’t have a child. It is only when the King has an official woman to introduce to the nation that he makes the announcement at the reed dance event. The king can choose and be involved in a relationship anytime of the year. But if I were to describe the reed dance in short I would describe it as official, live pornography. These girls expose very ‘important’ parts of their bodies I would advice those with “taxi rank mentality” not to even attempt going there. If you have a problem with mini skirts that our sisters wear then you would faint at the sight of almost naked, nubile Swati maidens.┬á
What I noticed though with the Royal family here is they leave a life of opulence while the rest of the nation seems to be struggling. Each of the King’s wives arrives on her top of the range BMW X5 with an escort convoy of expensive cars. With his 14 official wives (of course some couldn’t stand the polygamy nonsense anymore and have since left), I wonder how much is being spent on their welfare. His children are said to be around fifty in number and they too are provided with VIP protection. I lost count of his daughters as they paraded in front of him and one thing that kept coming to my head was, does the King really know all his children by their names and faces? I still cannot understand why a man should have so many wives in a country with such a small population of less than one million people. Perhaps this explains why some of the King’s wives end up cheating on him because no wife can stand such drought of conjugal rights as the King rotates amongst the many others. I’m writing from Swaziland and for fear of being deported and my vacation cut short, I will reserve the rest of my experience for when I get back home. In the meantime I will be chilling in Mbabane, enjoying my Windhoek and not missing Gaborone while I listen to California love by Tupac. Until then, sala kahle.
