Times were tough when we were kids. That is why I don’t like the kids of today. They are spoiled. They have it so good it’s enough to make some of us want to cry.
Perhaps I am jealous of the little tykes. I mean, it is not their fault that things are so swell for them. Their parents have made sure the rotten urchins are provided for. For starters, they are fat.
Have you seen how the kids of today are so corpulent? That is because they are well fed, and are able to eat all kinds of exotic stuff like ice cream.
They can gorge themselves on things like chocolate and pizza. Back then a whole school would only have the odd fat kid. Being the butt of jokes and some cruel bullying, the fat kid had a miserable life. I think we made fat kids miserable because we felt jealous that they ate so well and could afford to be fat.
Often, the fat kid was the child of the local shop keeper. Or his mother would be the woman who sold fat cakes. The child whose parents ran the local shop tended to be unpopular because at the weekend he would be showing off behind the counter and sucking as many lollipops as he wished.
On the other hand, there we were, about five of us breaking a small sweet into enough pieces for all to share.
Not all was gloom for the fat kid though. He could avoid bullying by dishing out stolen sweets to the hangers on who made it a habit of loitering outside the shop. The kid whose mother sold fat cakes had an easier time. After all, his mother would usually be plying her trade at the same school thereby ensuring that the have-nots and bullies kept their distance. In any case, the kid also enjoyed some measure of approval because he could be generous with the leftover fat cakes.
But deprivation showed itself in many ways. For instance, the fat boy had at least two pairs of school shoes. Now that was a lot of shoes considering that many pupils had to attend classes barefooted. To make sure we were all equal, the boy with shoes had to remove them when it came to playing football. Of course, if the ball being kicked around belonged to the fat boy then he could choose to play with his shoes on.
Nowadays I don’t know of any kid, especially in town, who goes to school barefooted. They all wear shoes. That is why the little rascals are able to kick innocent cans of soft drink and beer lying on the road. Back then very few kids could kick cans around. But even the kids from the affluent families were careful to protect their shoes for as long as possible.
That said, the item that caused the most fascination was the underwear. Unlike the kids of today who own several pairs, including swimming trunks, in our day, some lads went around without any underwear. You could see someone in their khaki pants jogging to school, piece of wood and food plate in hand, but wearing nothing underneath. It became tricky when the khaki pants decided to call it a day and started showing gaping holes in places. If they were not patched quickly enough then a boy could walk around with a part of his bottom exposed to the whole world. Sitting down without any underpants required a presence of mind to ensure none of the prized assets would escape and announce themselves to the world. Many boys had only one pair. But even then, that did not guarantee much protection for the assets.
The underpants were strictly for school purposes. You were not allowed to play in your one and only school uniform. That meant it had to be taken off the moment you arrived home. Because your only pair of undies was considered part of the uniform, it followed that it had to be removed as well. Like your uniform your underpants were strictly for school and not for playing. Despite being worn only to school, the undies could not stay intact forever. After too many washings, they would start showing holes in the most vital places. That would mean having to make sure the prized assets did not embarrass their owner by displaying themselves in front of the girls. With so many holes it could not be stitched any further, you might eventually get a new pair at Christmas.
But that didn’t change anything. Granted, you would be allowed to play in your old undies, stitched in places and showing holes. As for the new pair, it would be reserved strictly for school and church. When your playmates from a different school came to play you could not show off your new underpants. In fact unless they were told by someone else they would not know that you had a new pair because the only opportunity at which you could show them off to admiring lookers was in the school playground. Since they went to a different school when they came to play the only thing they saw was your bum sticking out of the old tatty pair. The new undies would, in the meantime, be relaxing in the house, waiting to jog to school the next morning.
I am reminded of underpants with holes because I think we are headed back there.
I look at all the top politicians and corporate executives, and muse that very soon they will return to their boyhood days. They will return to the days when they went around owning only two pairs of underpants. You see everything is so expensive.
The cost of food has shot through the roof. As for petrol very soon we will be either cycling or walking to work.
Now we hear that beer is going up by seventy percent. No where in the world has beer ever gone up by seventy percent. Times are so bad that drastic measures need to be taken.
That would mean not buying non essentials. Given that underpants are hidden under our trousers, they are not so essential. If things don’t improve, and if the price of beer is not reduced, I intend, before long, to stick to two pairs of underpants. I would have the nice pair that goes to work and rests over the week end. I would also have the tattered underpants with holes in them for playing and going out for a drink with the boys. Just like in the old days!
