Naturally, the thought of never seeing or speaking to your loved one again is scary.
Ending a relationship is especially painful when you’ve invested a lot of time and emotional energy; it actually draws all that energy you had.
It is even stranger because you were used to seeing that someone everyday and then suddenly you stop all contact.
The question of whether you can remain friends with an ex boyfriend after breaking up is complex and a good one.
Can it be done?
Or are you doomed to failure the moment you try?
Apparently, the fact that you are no longer going to see each other again is why so many couples want to remain friends. And that’s why so many women believe a platonic relationship is better than losing someone entirely.
I think ex’s can be friends with no problem. In fact, it is possible as long as both parties have moved forward and embraced their new lives apart from each other.
The best tool is to communicate with each other in an open and honest manner, and then friendship will be definitely possible. If you are dating somebody else, you need to be able to tell your ex.
For the friendship to work, it’s very important that your ex clearly understands that friends is all you will be. If it just doesn’t turn out that you two can be “just friends” it’s best to cut loose before you completely ruin what is left of “no hard feelings” break up.
Remember that this is someone with whom you shared amazing things.
Because although establishing that friendship is easy, keeping it going is the harder part. There are forces aligning against you the minute the two of you decide to remain friends. And for this very reason, being friends with your ex almost never works.
If your ex can’t see and meet the person with whom you’re currently in a relationship, then they’re not the friend you thought they were in the first place. A true friend wants to see you happy. A true friend wants to meet the person who makes you happy.
Also keep in mind that as much as you and your ex want to be friends, the next person who comes into his/her life might not be comfortable with that.
If you are really a “friend” no strings attached, you should be able to let him/her go on with his/her life with someone else and be happy for them. The question remains, can you let someone take your good friend without causing a hassle?
Ex’s are a huge problem for most people and you are bound to meet someone who is not over one or is being hassled by one. If he/she is still not over an ex, then he/she is not ready for a committed relationship and you need to know that, instead of wasting your time on a going-no-where-relationship.
I shared this with different people who had different views over the ex factor.
Someone, who preferred to be called Thobo, had his views that, “I would be friends but with caution and reservations because things are more likely to spark. Men do not always think straight. Most of the time, we have a motive.”
Wanky, a nurse at Mahalapye, shared the same sentiments with Thobo.
“It’s a tough one from the beginning but it is possible. The feelings may arise when we communicate and spend more time together, so I think we should establish less time at the beginning so that we get used to the idea,” he said.
Whilst it is a question of doubt, some people do not see anything strange about it and it works for them.
“I believe if the breakup was on good terms, yes it is possible. I still communicate with my ex like long term friends and he sometimes asks for my opinion in his decisions concerning his relationship and other issues,” said Phepafatso, a resident of Mochudi.
Katlego Tlhagwane disagreed with the whole issue.
“Communication is ok but for visitation I disagree. We shared moments earlier, why remind ourselves. No case of the ex! We will meet at night clubs and that’s as far as it goes,” she said.
So in the end, it remains that you cannot be friends with your ex if you still love him and if he still loves you. If you’re trying to get back with your ex-boyfriend, don’t substitute friendship for the long-term relationship you really would like to have. Instead, go for it. Work toward winning your boy/girlfriend back.
Take the initial steps toward reconciliation, and put yourself out on a limb.