Thursday, April 2, 2020

Congrats to wives and live-in partners!

It’s tough out there! Things are not easy nowadays. I guess we are all worried. But instead of just sitting there mopping, we must do something about the changing landscape. In the past, we thought these were just isolated incidents. Evidently, that is not the case. It has become more of a norm than the exception. Our problem is that we only sit up when the news appears in the media. But if you listen carefully, this danger is all over the place. I want us to be proactive and do something to save ourselves. If we don’t act quickly, we will all sink. The problem is Ma 14. I mean how else do you explain the rise in cases of alleged rape against blokes all over town? I don’t want to pronounce on the guilt or innocence of anyone. I don’t want to go there. Those are complex issues best resolved by the courts of law. But I am worried. I am worried for myself. I am worried for all the chaps out there.

Remember, there was a time when it did not take much for a man to enjoy himself. A cruise in a nice car was enough. For blokes who walked, some money to buy drinks would do the job. It now seems none of these things are working. We are under siege. But I saw it coming. From the moment this country started producing pretty, nubile things, I knew there was danger. I mean, how do you have a country where many of the young women are so beautiful they could be from the cover of modelling magazine? Those kids are just out of this world. Wherever a man goes he bumps into pretty young things. They are forever smiling and friendly. That is why older women don’t like Ma 14. They hate the pretty young things because they take their men. What did they expect? The other reason why women don’t like the young ones is because they too were once Ma 14. But for some reason, it does not take many years for a Le-14 to graduate into a mature woman.

There is no competition between a sexy young thing wearing skimpy clothing with her midriff exposed, and a dowdy woman. There is no comparison between a girl sporting a pierced nose with a tattoo just above her jeans and your missus. There is no competition whatsoever. But now in dramatic turn of fortunes, the older women are celebrating. With this spate of rape cases and allegations, they must be happy with Ma 14. I am sure there is now peace between the older women and Ma 14. I know blokes are thinking of what to do. I am also thinking hard about some form of insurance policy. Should we get Ma 14 to sign a consent form before the fun starts? Should we record Ma 14 on the mobile phone agreeing to consensual relations as soon as we enter the room? Or should a bloke get his friend to watch and prove it was consensual just in case trouble breaks out later? This one is not feasible because she can simply tell the police that it was a double rape. That’s how rough it is out there. It’s tricky. If you ask the little thing to sign a consent form, she will most likely walk away. If you try to record her consenting on the phone she will throw a tantrum and storm off. I am starting to think we should cross the border and have our fun there. Here you just can’t trust the young ones anymore. But there is the price of petrol and accommodation. We could settle for divorcees. But they are just a divorced version of our wives and live-in partners. Another option is to take advantage of the nice rates offered by the Zimbos. But there is the problem of policemen on the prowl. The police are everywhere in the red light districts.

They could be protecting what we are after. Every man is jealous of his possession. Imagine an angry policeman hauling you before the local customary court to be given a public flogging because you procured the services of his favourite Zimbo? Life is no longer nice in this country. I am thinking of migrating. If the young kids don’t stop this nonsense of crying rape after drinking our money, I am leaving. I just don’t have an answer to this phenomenon. I can only say boys, let’s be careful. But it doesn’t always work.

Sometimes they lead you on. When you are seated in your corner of the pub worrying about your debts they just sidle up and in no time you forget your vow to stay away from them. I am asking myself if this is not a plot by wives and partners paying Ma 14 to nail us. Look at it this way. There is only one winner in this mess. The winner is the wife or the live-in partner. The way I see things going, blokes will be going straight home after work. Over the weekend, they will be spending time with their male friends. Heck they will even ask their wives to pick them up from a drinking session. This kind of thing was unheard of before. Who in his right mind would remind his wife not to forget to pick him after a drinking session? It is now happening. It is a sign of the bad times we live in. Very soon blokes will be letting their wives use their phones.

Unheard of just a few months ago! We are in big trouble. I suppose we must just give up and accept that the women have won. They won because they are plotting and scheming with their daughters and little sisters. They have finally found a solution to the problem of men who are never home. Ma 14 have nailed us. My advice is: let’s stay home. It will not be as if by staying home we love our partners. We are terrified at what Ma 14 are doing to us.