Have you ever wondered why some people seem to flourish while others can barely rise above average?
There are some people who can’t seem to help but thrive and prosper, while others are stuck with mediocre results.
This is not down to “luck;” or the former having an unfair advantage over others.
While our success can be affected by several different factors, chief amongst these is our ability to cultivate positive emotions.
Until recently, many people thought being positive was a luxury, or a ‘new age craze.’ Indeed, positivity was associated with people who were unrealistic and impractical; who didn’t have their feet firmly planted on the ground. Pessimists were viewed as more realistic, despite having relatively little to show for it.
Fortunately, that view is changing, largely aided by new discoveries in science. According to research carried out by leading scientist, Barbara Fredrickson, “positivity doesn’t simply reflect success and health, it can also produce success and health.” On the other hand, negativity ÔÇô even neutrality ÔÇô holds us back.
Our positivity affects our outlook on life, including our expectations. It also affects our actions. Can you imagine if Orville and Wilbur Wright had been negative? If they’d let their first few failed attempts at creating an airplane dissuade them from pursuing their invention, we’d still be stuck on the ground today.
Positivity doesn’t just affect great innovations, allowing us to see the possible in what was formerly impossible, it affects our work, our relationships and even our health. Our positivity determines whether we lead an outstanding or drab life; and according to Fredrickson, “if you want to reshape your life for the better, the secret is…to increase your quantity of positivity over time.”
We can increase our positive emotions no matter what our starting point; and any of us can benefit from becoming more positive if we choose to. Why bother?
I can give you five good reasons to feel good now!
The first is, no matter what they say, nobody actually likes being miserable. We all want to be happy, but because happiness may have eluded us for so long, we start to see it as rare. Some of us have been unhappy for long enough that it actually feels normal.
We’ve learned to cope with less than satisfactory conditions; and if the only examples we have around us are people who’re dissatisfied, we feel validated.
In fact, happiness and a life of ease are what is normal. Struggle and unhappiness are abnormal. They require far more energy than being positive and simply allowing goodness to flow into our lives.
Everything we work towards in life is because we believe we’ll be happier once we have it. Smart people have learned to circumvent that belief ÔÇô they become happy first; and then allow good things to flow to them.
A second reason to feel good is that, by taking the time to cultivate positive emotions, we create upward spirals that lead to more positive events in our lives, as well as the lives of those around us.
Perhaps you’ve been around people who seem to lead a charmed existence, where one magical encounter leads to another until they eventually land that great opportunity you’ve been waiting for? Whether they realize it or not, they’ve stumbled on the secret: it pays to be happy.
Such people have learned to mold their life experience by cultivating positive emotions.
They not only lead successful lives, they’re a blessing to all those they come into contact with.
A third reason to feel good now is that, cultivating positive emotions broadens our minds. Even if we feel justified in being unhappy over that one ‘major issue,’ that ‘real problem’ that can’t be dealt with by being more positive, we need to remember that by cultivating positive emotions, we actually develop the ability to see the bigger picture and solve problems creatively. We start seeing through the negative fog; and are able to devise solutions to our problems.
A fourth reason to feel good is that, positive emotions build our resilience. Have you ever noticed how two people could deal with the same set of circumstances in startlingly different ways? Both may get retrenched at work; and while one sinks into an acute depression, maybe even alcoholism, the other bounces back from their setback more quickly; and perhaps even does better than they did before?
The difference between them is their level of positivity – positive people are more resilient.
The fifth and final reason to feel good now is, it could lead to greater levels of co-operation in your life. In negotiations, high levels of positive affectivity are related to the use of co-operation strategies and better agreements. If you approach difficult professional or personal discussions armed with positive emotions, it leads to better outcomes.
If you want to improve your life, either by achieving your goals and objectives, or improving your relationships in general, try these exercises:
– Whenever you enter a new environment, or engage in a new experience, think of ten good things about that experience. This will keep your mind firmly anchored in the positive; and will bring even more good things in your life.
– In addition, write down what you’re grateful for at the end of each day. Writing down your blessings will not only result in greater optimism about the future, it will actually result in a brighter future.
– Finally, visualize a positive future. Picture yourself as successful and enjoy the positive feelings this evokes. Keep a ‘creation box,’ where you put images of everything you want. When you feel inspired to, take action towards your goals.
Remember: “success is not the key to happiness. The key to success is happiness.” Herman Cain.
Primrose Oteng is a Master of Applied Positive Psychology and the Founder of the Positive Peace Project, an organization dedicated to creating positive change through personal empowerment. For more information regarding how we can help you, please contact [email protected].
