If you are to conduct a survey asking children who they admire most, it would provide an insightful surprise to a parent to realise that they are a major force of motivation to their children.
Boys boast of their fathers being the greatest at this or that while girls look up to their mothers as best at what they do. In their own ideal world, their parents are the greatest irrespective of circumstance. Yet amidst all this joy of admiration and pride from the little ones, there comes a time when parents do not understand their children.
As the child starts primary school, the parent has to deal with screams from the child minder and constant complaints by the teacher. Children tend to become hyper-active and experimental.
At school the child can just not focus. Their work is often untidy and incomplete. Teaching the child homework is a nightmare as some parents spend two hours literally doing one exercise. It can be very overwhelming for the parent. One still has to deal with economical challenges, social pressures, work problems then a problematic child. Some children become moody, destructive and even violent. Yet, that’s the time your child needs your love and understanding the most.
The child has no idea of the reason they need education and even when you explain, their reasoning capacity has not yet developed much to really understand you.
The most powerful tool to control their behaviour at this stage is love. Always tell your child how much you love them. Make them feel important and explain to them how their negative behaviour hurts and affects you. It is crucial at this point to reward positive deeds.
Children tend to put more effort in pleasing their parents if there is a reward. Praise the child if they have done their homework and you will realise they will do it again tomorrow. Never use negative connotations when referring to your child as this will grow with them and affect their self esteem and confidence.
Most parents meet their child’s teacher only on consultation day and are shocked with what the child has been doing throughout the term. It is advisable to always relate with your child’s teacher consistently.
If you both work collectively, you will be able to uproot negative deeds earlier before they become habits. Always remember your child is meeting other children with different beliefs and moral values and pupils tend to influence each other negatively.
Listen and talk with your child everyday regardless of how tired and busy you are. If you show some interest in your child’s school work they will become enthusiastic about it.
Allow your child to play but make them realise there is time for everything. Involve your child in some daily chores as this will evoke a sense of responsibility. Create time to play with your child. Assess the programmes your child watches on television and evaluate the content if it is appropriate and edifies the values you want your child to learn. Parents should know that television influences greatly a child’s behaviour and children can idolise what they see. They still have no understanding of fiction and reality. Pay attention to age restrictions on programmes; it is very crucial.
Always remember no child minder can replace you. If you go on long trips phone the child and when you are back take the child away and try to understand what was happening when you where not around.
Parents should know the way you relate with each other also affects the child’s performance at school. Never shout your spouse or badmouth your spouse to the child. No matter how you might try to rectify this, children will keep it. Create a conducive environment for your child to release his /her full potential.
Be firm but loving and your child should know the difference between no and yes. If you allow your child to be manipulative it becomes a difficult habit to stop and will even affect the child’s understanding of authority at school. A bit of tough love can help behavioural modification. Always control your emotions and never take out your frustrations on your child. Make time with yourself and be calm so as to better deal with your child. As a parent you have to adopt a holistic approach in understanding your child.
Your child’s welfare should be your top priority and you will realise your toddler will be calmer and more serious with school work. Your child should know the importance of truth. Accept their mistakes and know they are still growing.
Remember, always praise all good deeds and your child will stay motivated to focus more at school.
