Friday, October 30, 2020

Let’s defend the motherland.

I love the guys in power. I just love our government. They can spring some nice surprises. As you know, this country has never fought a full scale war. But we have fought a low intensity war. Back when there was a country called Rhodesia, our army was kept very busy. Rhodesia was that country where the minority settlers decided they would carve out an enclave for themselves in which the majority black population were denied the vote and generally treated as second class citizens.

Naturally, the blacks fought to regain their country. In the course of their struggle, we did the right thing by helping them. After all, they are our kith and kin. As a result, the authorities in Rhodesia decided that in their futile war with the freedom fighters, we would be collateral damage. Of course, our boys at the border had to protect the country; hence the frequent battles with the Rhodesians in which both sides suffered casualties. Although we lost some men, we ultimately were proud that through our sacrifices, the blacks in that country managed to get their country back. I remember that Rhodesia was ruled by a man called Ian Smith.

He was said to be one eyed. We were told many stories about him and, growing up, every boy I knew wanted to join the army in order to fight Smith. I also wanted to join the army but was too young. The Rhodesians are lucky the war ended before I was old enough to go into battle. Anyway, we had that low intensity war for some time. That was the last war we had. The next opportunity that presented itself for me to join the army was later on when that man who died a few weeks ago ran apartheid South Africa. That was when we decided to help Jacob Zuma’s people fight for their freedom.

The now deceased and unlamented devil, PW Botha, decided to send in his troops to attack some houses here belonging to refugees who had fled his tyranny. He killed many people including some locals. I was so incensed I felt like taking up arms. That was not possible because I was still at school and was in the middle of exams. I did consider quitting school in order to fight for my country. My desire to join the military dissipated when all the minority regimes were defeated and the blacks took power resulting in peace prevailing in this part of the world. But I think the old hunger to join the army is coming back. My belief is that every citizen has a duty to defend their country. If you don’t defend your country and it ends up over-run by invaders then you have no one to blame. That is why the whites fought one another so hard when that man called Hitler decided he wanted to occupy their countries. And they fought hard. For instance, the Soviet Union alone suffered by far the greatest number of casualties in the Second World War with 23 million dead. For as long as human beings exist, there will be wars. In many countries, as soon as boys come off age they are conscripted into the army. Even when they are not at war, countries make sure they stay on high alert by training their youths. Whenever war breaks out, the youth are ready to take up arms in the defence of the motherland. Every country in the world maintains an army for such an eventuality.

In some countries they conscript both boys and girls. I am glad my country is now learning from those countries. Our government has just sprung a lovely surprise. It has been announced that the local army will soon be recruiting female soldiers. I think it is long overdue. Like I say, it is the duty of every citizen, irrespective of gender to fight for their country. The announcement means that women will also play their part in the defence of the motherland. Although I have always wanted to join the army my other problem has been that soldiers go on long tours of duty at the border. Such tours can last up to three months. Now, clearly, when you are stuck in the bush for that long there are certain things you will miss. The other complication is that whilst stuck there your partner would be having a blast with chaps who were too cowardly to enlist. It is the ultimate irony that heroes who put their lives on the line for their country suffer at the hands of cowards who can’t hack it in the army.

The cowards get to sleep with the girlfriends and wives of the heroes when they are busy defending the country. It is a problem. But now that women are joining the army, I think the problem has been solved. It is simple. When the heroes are on a tour of duty they won’t have to miss anything because they will be accompanied by female soldiers. Male and female troops will be able to turn to each other for conjugal comfort when the need arises. This is a welcome development and I can assure you the army will be highly motivated. From now onwards so many chaps will be seeking to join the army many will have to be turned away. They will no longer have to worry about cowards sleeping with their partners. I never fought Smith. I never fought Botha. I wish I had. But I think the time has now come to do duty for my country by joining the army. The conditions have never been so good.

In saying so, it is important to note that we live in a multi racial society. We are all proud citizens of this country, both black and white. As a result, everyone irrespective of colour should join the army to protect the country. We all have a duty to defend the motherland. Because women can now enlist I urge white female citizens in particular to join the army. C’mon ladies, we look forward to a good time in the army with you.

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