Monday, January 24, 2022

Real Men Cheat, the biggest dating myth

Show me a man who is faithful to one partner and I will show you the laughing stock of local dating circles.
When men meet over a drink, the conversation will usually veer towards women and then a game of one-upmanship on who has more game. This is usually measured by the number of women in your “harem”, which is an indication of your rank in the pecking order of alpha males.
Men who are faithful to one partner are usually the butt of emasculating jokes, attracting labels like “whipped” or suffering from “one-titis”. They are often dismissed as “pussy cats” without the politeness of the second word.
It is almost an article of faith that even women find the man with a roving eye attractive: The bevy of beautiful women who take turns on his arm are perceived as social proof of his worth as a stallion. While the man who sticks to one partner would be scorned with; “o jele” which simply means he is hen-pecked.
Some men who find no joy in juggling girlfriends but have no stomach for the jeers that come with keeping one girlfriend usually take refuge in claiming that they are Christians. This however is never enough to protect them from ice-picked tongues of women whose gossips would be punctuated with a “he says he is a Christian” or simply “are ke Mozelwana” said in a tone that relegates them to the scum of the earth. Most Batswana women seem conditioned to believe that men have a right to cheat them. News of a cheating boyfriend are usually brushed off with an excuse that, “Ga gona monna yo o sa cheating (loosely translated as all men cheat.”
“Oh, he makes me happy”. That is the common refrain among women who justify being in adulterous relationships. There is however something wrong with women who looks for happiness outside themselves. These are usually insecure women who crave approval. They tend to attract equally insecure men who also seek peer approval by proving that they can date many women. Real men know they are complete in themselves and do not women on their arms or cheers from friends to prove their worth.


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