Thursday, July 18, 2024

Satire at the End of the Year

It is important that the last piece on this column before the close of the year becomes a much lighter side of life. This has been a tough year by all measure and we may need to be a little bit satirical on this and that issue. A few of my readers such as Roland Masalila and Mogomotsi Kaboyamodimo have in the past noticed my ability to be satirical even when I try not to. By the way, the French court has just handed down the sentence on the terrorists, who mowed down the staff at Charlie Hebdo on 7th January, 2015. Twelve staff members were killed that day by some individuals who wanted to supress that freedom of expression. We all welcome the verdict.

Please  don’t take yourself too seriously because no one else does. I like this saying and it leaves me with more room to play around and become as satirical as we can get. There are two major events that mark the year 2020 for me. Of course it’s the Covid-19 pandemic which has become a concern for all of us. But I had a personal loss as my bosom friend Motlatsi Mbanga departed from this world. This was a big personal loss indeed.

You are probably reading this piece having come from the deep end of life in 2020, but you are not alone. With the advent of a new year and a promise of the vaccine, we hope to overcome this whole thing, the dark cloud that hanged over us throughout the year. I am still praying and hoping that the pandemic ends before I have someone poke my nose with a twelve inch earbud. That looks most unpleasant by all measure.

There isn’t anything about Covid-19 in the Guinness Book of Record but for sure our president will settle in there with his record in self-isolation after the pandemic is over. The man has done it five times in a year. Some are asking if this was done on the side of caution or he was simply seeking media attention in the middle of a pandemic.

Thinking of attention seeking, congratulations to General Khama, you did so well in this area. Your tumbles, leopard poses and the quadbike stunts were good. You deserve a medal on this one morena. I wonder who your coach is because you have not fallen short of the mark. At least this year you were not on the news for the wrong reasons.

But why are people so jealous of General Khama in his attention seeking exercise? This man has always been on the limelight from the moment he was born. Most probably the only kid of a mixed marriage known to the UK government in the 1950s because of the controversy surrounding his parents. Watch the Youtube videos of him if you are in doubt. This man has done incredible things. He became the first police officer to be given a promotion on his birthday. That’s out of this world. He went through three ranks in his entire military career and he managed to make it to the rank of lieutenant general. That’s distinction by all measure. And that all happened in twenty-one years. Compared to him, I am a disgrace because I spent twenty years as an officer and only managed to climb to the rank of captain.

But for sure boredom is getting the better side of the man. It’s amazing that the moment I stopped issuing my criticism on him, the man changed and began to concentrate on leisure issues. But that must have been hard, converting from being a Masisi critic to a village clown. I must also congratulate myself for spending a whole calendar year without criticising General Khama. I am naturally a political critic and when the man is out of the political arena, I would have very little to say about him. Someone has labelled me a Khama hater, but that’s not the case. My criticism comes from a fair attitude from within me. I am equally reminded of General Vee, that pint size musician who calls himself general. Rightly so he commands such great influence in the entertainment industry. Last week he marshalled his forces and they obliged to his call.

This was the biggest Covid-19 crowd this country has ever seen. He was demanding that the entertainment industry be given its pass to operate publicly. But the coup didn’t last for long as he was soon taken in by law enforcement officers to the cells. As he was carried to the cells, he was blaring like a Christmas goat before the slaughter. And of course this was an attention seeking stunt. The police seemed at ease with dealing with the renegade general. Someone has made a very good observation about the case that General Vee was presenting before the public and the government. The issue is; General Vee is living a lavish life in the suburb of Phakalane and yet he is rubble rousing the likes of Nkoyaphiri residents to fight his cause.

That has come a long way in history. The bourgeoisie always wanting to ride on the backs of the ordinary peasants. But thanks to Covid-19, this year we have not had the World Aids Day commemorations which have now been turned into celebrations. Equally so, we have had fewer deaths on our roads. But worst of all we have missed the famous Trans Kalahari Road Race now known as the Toyota 1000 Race, an epitome of Botswana’s outdoor events. I think 2021 will have fewer personal resolutions because people have come to the realization that it is all in the hands of God, the direction life choses to take. My year now begins on my date of birth and I do measure my achievements according to that. As the writer of Ecclesiastes notes, “life is just a fleeting breath.”

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