It’s difficult to fathom how, in a little over two weeks, 2011 will come to a glorious end! So, how was it for you?
If you’re like most people I know, you’re probably chastising yourself for not meeting some of the goals you set for yourself this year, including some that you deemed pretty major. Yet regret is a worthless emotion; no amount of berating yourself for not doing more is going to change anything. All you can do is take stock of where you are now; and determine where you want to go.
If you didn’t achieve an important goal this year, realise that your procrastination is a sign that you didn’t place enough mental energy behind certain goals. Are there too many of them? If so, think about narrowing your focus to your top three goals; and realise that prioritising does not mean that you’re forever limiting yourself to only those few goals.
One you’ve narrowed down your outstanding goals to your top three, think about them more. Contrary to popular belief, spending time visualising our goals is not a waste of time! When the time is ripe, you’ll not only feel inspired, you will feel positively compelled to act in a particular direction; and when you receive that inner prompting to act, follow it! Don’t talk yourself out of doing something by imagining all the things that could go wrong.
Also know that every step you take towards your goals counts! Some goals take longer than others to manifest, but that’s because they’re bigger. Stop taking score and wishing you were further than you already are. Know that reading about your goal, speaking to people about it; and even making preliminary enquiries about it, all count. It’s part of building up the energy around your goals before their completion.
Another reason why some of us may have failed to meet our targets is that many times, we set our goals on the basis of what we think ought to be important to us, rather than what is important to us. Do you really want to get married; or do you just think someone your age should get married?
While we can fool ourselves for some time, our attention always gravitates towards what interests us the most. If we’ve emphasised some activities over others, that’s because that’s where our interest lies; and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Our attention will gradually shift back to some of our other important goals when the time is right, with no struggle and permitting us to enjoy the process.
Equally important, know that while there may be some goals that you haven’t yet accomplished, you have achieved others! Whoever you are, it’s simply not true that you haven’t achieved anything! Find time to sit in quiet reflection and take stock of just how far you’ve really come.
You may have left your job to set up a business; and while you’re not growing as quickly as you’d like, if you have even one new client, or people who’ve come to associate you with a particular service, you are growing!
Perhaps your attention has been diverted from your career to help an ailing parent; or a child who’s struggling to find their place in the world. Maybe you’ve lost weight and transformed your physique for the better. Maybe you’re shedding other types of weight, like toxic relationships.
Whatever it is, all of us can definitely point to areas of our lives that have improved during the course of the year. Don’t overlook your accomplishments, however big or small.
Use them as a basis to realise that you can accomplish anything. Think of what you had to overcome, including your own doubts, to get to where you are. Let that inspire you to take even greater risks when it comes to achieving other goals.
Furthermore, realise that we’re not here to get it done. Life is not about arriving at the final destination, it’s about enjoying the journey along the way. We never arrive at a point when there’s nothing more that we want in life. If we did, there’d be no reason for us to be on earth.
As long as we’re in this world, life will always cause us to identify more things that we want; and more ways in which our lives could improve. The trick is to think about what we want and feel happy even before it arrives.
Every second that you’re happy, you are successful! What’s more, you’re drawing physical evidence of your success towards you. When you are worried, or full of regret about how much more you could have done, you’re pushing your success away.
Trust that everything you want is unfolding in your life in perfect, divine timing. If it hasn’t arrived yet, it’s because it’s not a good fit for your life in this particular moment. When it does arrive, the timing will be just right; and it will be even better than you can imagine right now.
Finally, remember that while setting goals is useful for helping us to chart a course from one place to another, we can’t plan for every eventuality. We need to leave room for magic and miracles in our lives, that grace and favour that shows up every now and again. It illustrates how very little comes to us as a result of our own genius, but the genius of a Higher Power who always has our best interests at heart.
Don’t torture yourself over what you didn’t manage to achieve this year. Make the process of taking stock of your achievements as positive and enjoyable as you possibly can. Be content with what you have but eager for more. You have the rest of your life to get to where you want to go!
*Primrose Oteng is a Master of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) and
the Founder of the Positive Peace Project, an organization dedicated to
creating positive change through personal empowerment. Contact:
[email protected]
