Monday, June 1, 2020

The conductor

They are the first people that you meet when you go to the bus rank. They are usually the loudest, most shabbily dressed and most abrasive people that you can ever meet. But, loudmouthed and rude as they are, they will carry your luggage and give you directions.

Love them or hate them, but bus conductors are an essential despite their lack of manners.

But the big question is who are they? They are quite an amazing lot, gifted with an unparalleled knack for oratory, and a deep seated knowledge of all the obscure corners of the city.

Conductors are amazing people. What other industry do you know of that can boast of such a large collection of similarly grouped people, whose job requires no qualifications? Have you ever stopped to ponder about what makes these guys to tick? The conductor has the remarkable ability to collect money from over 20 people and still be able to keep track of exactly how much change he owes to each and every one of his clients, regardless of the amount of money that he might have collected. The conductor will, with very limited effort, work out change at an astonishingly high speed.

At the bus rank, the conductor is king. When grouped together, the conductors become law unto themselves, always defending each other at the expense of a wronged customer. They get thoroughly excited by women or young girls in minis skirts, and they have been known to mete out justice to scantily dressed young women by stripping them of their clothes.

The conductors are blessed with outstanding vocal cords and an ability to scream at the top of their voices, in an incessant effort to attract clients. They are known not to pay much attention to their hygiene.

Their language consists of the most vulgar words you can think of and many that you can’t. There is no boundary to their imagination when it comes to being obscene. They will not cease to amaze you with the obscene words that they belt from their mouths.

Politeness and decency are anathema to them yet passengers have no choice but to be subjected to their vulgar and violent outbursts.

One wonders why efforts are not being made to bring some decency into these people’s manner in handling passengers. It is along running wonder because everyone complains about them yet no one does anything about it.

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Sunday Standard May 24 – 30

Digital copy of Sunday Standard issue of May 24 - 30, 2020.