I must admit my stay in this tourism town, which now spans almost a decade, has taught me quite a lot; the culture, the way of life of various ethnic groups found here, the abundant wildlife and how people around here have learnt to live with them (wild animals) and make them a part of their daily life, I mean, all of those fine things about Ngamiland combined. This district is the finest in terms of flora and fauna, although the least developed in terms infrastructure. Nobody knows why, but perhaps it’s a deliberate move by government to further isolate it so that tourists may see and enjoy it the way it appears, that’s in my own view.
This is also home to people who still hold fast to their cultural values, even though some cultures are executed as standalones, considering the many groups of people found here. The fact of the matter is Batawana still dominate in high numbers, because after all this is their homeland. The origins of other tribes found here such as Baherero are traced to as far as Namibia, while Bambukushu, Bakoba (a derogatory name referring to Bayei) are scattered in most parts of Okavango district.
As a devoted Motswana born and bred into a family that respects Tswana morals, I found it wise to continue what I learnt back home and not disengage myself from societal events taking place in here. I often attend weddings, funerals and any other occasions in Maun, at times with the pretext that I just want to pass by, not because I know the family, funny!
And it is while at these events that I usually open my ears and eyes wide enough so as to have a glimpse of whatever they might be doing differently from what I am accustomed to as a Mokgatla. And I must confess there is without doubt quite a lot to write home about here. To me it is some kind of expedition. I like it more when my work takes me to faraway places, better known here as “hard to reach areas”. We do not have such in my home place of Mochudi. All the places in Kgatleng are reachable either by road or whatever mode of transport. But because of the topography in Ngamiland, some places can only be accessed by the use of boats, particularly when the rivers are flooding as it is has become common.
It was while still settling here that I also got to know of places referred to as protected areas, wildlife management areas, sensitive areas, and so forth. Most of these are no-go zones, and are home to the many wildlife species in this part of the country. It took a lot of time for me to understand what all these mean. I must say I am grateful for my job as a journalist, because it is through this profession that I got to know a lot of things. I mean, this is just one of the perks that come along with being a scribe, because it includes lots of travelling, rubbing shoulders with the elite, and learning along the way.
This past week, I had a lengthy chat with Batawana Senior Chief Representative, Kgosi Charles Letsholathebe. I had requested that he shed light on some things that they do here, for the reason that it is only here that I have seen them happening. First and foremost I wanted clarity on the issue of “go tsala bana”, legitimisation of children born out of wedlock whereby the children’s father pays their lobola, (not similar to the one charged for the bride) before he could be given their custody. This practice is mostly done when one (male) is about to get married and has children out of marriage whom he wants to take custody of that they bear their father’s name.
Should the father choose not to go through this process, he said chances are they (children) might not be accepted by their paternal family and might even be excluded in any decision making even in the future.
According to Letsholathebe, the practice is highly recommended amongst all Batawana, and is seen as a step in the right direction. Whoever goes this route is held in high regard by the elders as they believe he is man enough not to detach from his own blood. Soon after the lobola would have been paid, Letsholathebe says it is the children’s father who decides if he wants to leave them with their paternal grandparents and take the responsibility of taking care of them while there, or take them along to their new home to be with their stepmother so that they may be raised under one roof. He was however quick to point out that this has never been an easy arrangement, and has more to do with one’s attitude because the new mother might not be willing or in a position to accept or raise children who are not biologically hers, thus brewing even more conflicts between mother, father, and the children, at times leading to a break up.
“We have always made it clear that although necessary, it is not forced on anyone. It is only a way of reminding people to do right by their children so as to avoid things such as inheritance clashes in the future. These are common concerns at customary courts. Furthermore we live in an era whereby children are more advanced than we were back in the years. Nowadays it is them and not their mothers, who sue for child maintenance, so it is always worthy to be on the safe side”, he said.
However like other tribal leaders Letsholathebe stated that they are disturbed by the extent at which some families still claim not to understand how this kind of lobola, particularly , is carried out, such that they always feel cheated as they want to claim for all children, as if in business. He gave the example that if two or more children are involved, bogadi will be paid for one. They charge two cows which are equivalent to P4000.
“This is still the standard charge and is not negotiated. Even if you were to pay for six children who share the same mother, the price remains the same. It is different if the father has children with multiple partners since this will mean he extends payment to more than one family. In this case we always leave it to the concerned family to see how they go about it as we do not want to be seen to be meddling in people’s relationships. We cannot even ask them how they found themselves in such a fix, because having children out of wedlock has come a long way and is inescapable”, he said.
My conversation with Letsholathebe shifts from go tsala bana to the bad conduct depicted by some people at funerals. Reality or rather my observation has been that funerals here are not given the honour they deserve. People just dress as they wish, and in some instances women even wear pants, only to cover up with a small cloth (chitenge) wrapped around their waist. Their excuse is always that they had just knocked off from work and had decided to “pass by” to convey their condolences to the bereaved family. But honestly, can’t people just postpone and come the following day instead of parading in stuff that they know is not appropriate for such a gathering? Some do not even put on any form of headgear, and would leave their hair to show. Men on the other hand do not put on jackets, only a few do. They don’t find fault in just putting on a T-shirt or even a short sleeve shirt and still be part of the mourners and act as if everything is okay. It is even worse when one is the Director of Ceremonies because that is so undignified.
In Kgatleng where I come from, it is taboo to do such and whoever does that is seen to be disrespectful, which is why people there are always on alert as they know it can never be tolerated. If one cannot abide by what is needed then they are always advised to just stay home.
Letsholathebe said during the interview that they are very much aware of this conduct, and that they are still working on normalising things so that they may be understandable to their people. “But Charlie, (as he is commonly known here) I have seen you doing the same, and remember I have personally seen you wearing shirts and not jackets at the funerals which we both attended”, I remind him, not sure if teasing him is the right thing.
He breaks into laughter and responds, “No, no you are not telling the truth because unlike other people, I would rather put on a long sleeve shirt. I however agree with you that we should conduct public education so that our people may know that the dead should be given respect, and that we can do by dressing in a dignified manner”, he says still laughing off at the unexpected question.
There is also the issue of “go bopeletsa” at weddings, whereby married women in shawls (Bo mme ba dijale) form a long line, and walk at a very slow pace as they escort the bride to her in-laws. A village elder Keamogetse Rammokolodi says this is done to show that the bride has been accepted into the new family and can attend and be part of gatherings such as weddings, engagement meetings and many others attended by married people.Rammokolodi adds that this also teaches the bride to always humble herself before her husband, but most importantly her in-laws. For close to a month or so, she says the new bride is expected to wear a shawl in her shoulders wherever she goes, while the husband puts on a jacket for the same period.
