April 4 2010: This being Easter week, I have been thinking of Jesus.
As far back as I can recall, we were taught about Jesus. At Sunday school lessons, they taught us that the father of Jesus was a man called Joseph.
Apparently he was a man of very humble means. He was said to be a carpenter and very nice and kind.
But I was somewhat confused because another lesson said in actual fact Jesus had another father.
His name was God.
I suppose I was not the only youngster confused by this puzzle of the boy who had two fathers.
On the other hand, there was no confusion over the identity of his mum. Anyway, as I sat pondering this issue of the two dads, I learned a bit about Jesus. In fact, I got to like his two dads because they seemed very liberal and allowed him to do what he wanted.
I liked the way Jesus lived his life as a kid because I too aspired to live just like him. I wanted my parents to allow me to do as I pleased.
For starters, Jesus didn’t have to go to school. That means he never had any teachers thrashing him for not doing his homework or forgetting to recite his lines.
It would seem while all the other children went to school Jesus traipsed around the countryside telling grown up people interesting stories about his origins.
Because I didn’t like being forced to get up early in the morning to go to school, I considered Jesus a lucky lad. I often wondered if I too could get away with it if I had two dads.
I mean the reason he did as he pleased was because if one dad told him to go to school, he could cry and appeal to his other dad. Faced with this problem the two dads would have a chat and in the meantime as they grappled with whether education was a good thing or not, Jesus would be thinking up ways of taking over the world. When his two dads finally let him stay home, he was well on his way to becoming a global heartthrob.
I mean here is a bloke who could not read or write. There was no chance of home schooling for Jesus. His mum was very poor and obviously illiterate. The only reason Mary found Joseph a worthy companion was because he was impoverished and illiterate as well.
As for his second dad, he could not have been much help because for Jesus’ entire life he was absent. Seeing no value in education and having two bickering dads, and a mother who was sweet, enabled Jesus to refine his ideas to spread his gospel all over the world.
Apparently, by the time he was a teenager, his thoughts were finding favor with a lot of people. I must say he was an energetic fellow Jesus.
Without the benefit of a chariot, and coming from a poor family he was so committed to his cause he walked everywhere to spread his message. At times he rode on donkey back. It appears he inherited the donkey from Joseph.
How a chap who walked and occasionally rode a donkey could do so much to convince people to believe in his ideas has never ceased to amaze me. It is indeed remarkable that a man who did not own a single possession besides his sandals, an inherited donkey and a single robe managed to shake the world.
In many ways I think Jesus was an incredible fell for all he managed to do against such massive odds.
That said, I believe Jesus was not so smart in some areas. He blew so many opportunities to become a wealthy man. Obviously, being illiterate he could not count money. He therefore did not bother making any. With poor parents, he had no role models in the family who could have shown him the beauty of money. There are various ways in which our man Jesus could have made a fortune.
After multiplying the five fish to feed the hungry, he could have embarked on the lucrative trade of running a fish processing plant. If Jesus had gone to school he could have opened the biggest fish factory in the world.
There is no reason why a man of such immense talents had to die poor, look at all the money spinning ideas stolen from Jesus by today’s entrepreneurs.
During his time, folks brewed their own booze at home for personal consumption. When Jesus hit the scene he promptly turned water into booze to ensure the thirsty drank their fill.
Again on account of illiteracy, he failed to see the commercial value in running his own chain of breweries. I mean if he was too busy preaching he could have at least let poor Joseph run the family business , instead of having his old man spend his entire life hammering on wood.
It does not end there.
Long before tourism became big business, Jesus could have started his own resort. We all know the first man to walk on water was Jesus. Since then anyone who has tried, drowns. Not only is this a unique skill, it is also spectacular.
I am certain his resort would have been jam-packed with tourists from all over the world. Everyone would have come to see the man who walked on water.
Does it end there? No.
Today, when you look around there are so many optometrists plying their trade. Yet, Jesus was the first person to restore sight to a blind man in one of his frequent travels up country.
I shudder when I think of how much money he could have made as an eye doctor restoring sight to blind people all over the world.
Heck, Jesus would have smiled all the way to the bank. It is a pity that with so much skill and talent his life ended prematurely , and in poverty at the premature age of thirty three.
We are taught education is necessary for us to take care of our parents. Jesus never bothered, hence his parents died poor.
This being Easter week, the moral of the story of Jesus is that you can be popular and persuasive, but you will die poor if you don’t acquire the education to translate your skills and talents into money!
