Thursday, April 24, 2025

What kind of a man are you?

THE secret is out. ‘Man are not equal!’
Aside with all the religious and social garb that would make us believe that there might be an inkling of equality in us male species. The truth of the matter is that, some guys got it, and plenty at that, while some just don’t have it.

For starters, contrary to most people’s thinking, it is possible to classify men under specific categories based on the characteristics that they tend to give off. Think of it as the equivalent of knowing your blood group; it can be called upon in a life and death situation.

So, what kind of a man are you?
If you know, the better suited one is to handle themselves in all types of situations. Four major types of categories exist, namely alpha male, ubersexual man, metrosexual man and the retrosexual man.

Ideally, every male would love to be an alpha male, but that is but an ideal. As the name itself would suggest, an alpha male is the dominant and leading figure among his peers taken from the Greek word ‘alfa’, which means first place. This is where the likes of Barack Obama, David Beckham and Will Smith of this world fall under.
Alpha males are largely leaders in their area of endeavours and because of their leading role they have everyone eating out of their hand – literally.

Of course, the jealous brothers out there languish over what their ‘foes’ use to woo women and invite success their way. Charm, confidence, charisma and good looks are some of the key elements that every alpha male knows are a must have.

The ubersexual man, on the other hand, is on a slightly different plane. While they are not the outright typical leader like the alpha male, they also enjoy the perks of attracting attention to themselves. The term ‘uber’ is taken from the German language, which means the best, greatest, super or above. Needless to say, ubersexuals are the prime man, possessing a deadly combination of being attractive, confident, masculine, stylish and having an uncompromising quality to life in all areas.

Ubersexuals believe in causes and, as such, tend to stand up and be counted in humanitarian work, because they simply believe it is the right thing to do. The leading ubersexual of our time is Bono from U2. He is global, socially aware, confident, and compassionate, and he commands a huge base of followers who are fans of his music and his humanitarianism.

Apparently, it turns out that ubersexuals make the best boyfriends ever, as they have a deep seated value in relationships and make it a top priority to take care of their women and themselves. Talk of being able to go the whole nine yards!

The metrosexual man is somewhat on the other end of the spectrum. He is the typical bloke who is a good-looking, fashionable young man who pays special attention to style and taste and is identified with women, but is, however, not deemed to be homo-sexual and is secure in his masculinity.

Imagine talking of Brad Pitt without making mention of Angelina Jolie (Bradanjolina) or Tom Cruise without talking of Katie Holmes-impossible.

Even stating that the metrosexual man pays attention to style and taste is an understatement, considering the fact that he is a fervent follower of fashion trends, from following GQ magazine to signing up for newsletters from the Style Guru and Fabulous Five. The metrosexual man literally lives off the current fashion trends! Some go on to the extent of carrying man-bags, use hand lotions, get facials and have their nails done.

While all the other kinds of man have traces of being concerned with how they look and take great care at that, the retrosexual man is not so. He spends little time or money on his appearance. The retrosexual man does not bother himself with acquiring clothes that would make him look hippy and fashionable, his mind is set on just being himself-no charisma and no flair.

Inevitably, this kind of guy is such a turn off and never seems to hit it off with the fairer sex, unless the women are out looking for the classic and not sophisticated type of guy then they might be in luck.

So to all the guys out there, stop trying to be all things to all kinds of people and find your rightful place. The world will never celebrate ‘a Jack of all trades and the master of none’. Period!

Next week: What kind of a woman are you?

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