In case you missed it. Donald Trump held what he told journalists was a global press conference to clear the air surrounding his failure to concede defeat by Joe Biden – the man he disdainfully refers to as “Sleepy Joe”.
We delve right into what transpired at the South Lawns of the Oval Office in Washington DC as it happened.
FOX News reporter: Mr. President how do you rate Kamala Harris as the first woman US Vice-President elect?
Trump: Camel what? Oh! Harris. Very lowly! I think Sarah Palin probably has more stilettoes than Harris owns. I’m not the one who selected her. I can’t imagine her being the next President of the US after Sleepy Joe loses steam. I think the Democrats have sold us out to give us a woman as number two.
CNN reporter: Mr. President that is plain bigotry. You’re being sexist. What makes a woman less capable to lead?
Trump: Ask Hilary Clinton what hit her in 2016?
CNN reporter: Mr. Trump this isn’t the time to play silly games. Joe Biden has defeated you. Why aren’t you conceding defeat? Do you believe in democracy?
Trump: I knew this line of questioning can only come from CNN. I’ll tell you what. The folks at Fox news are pretty smarter than you guys at CNN. I think they should call you cable no news. How can you raise such a pestilence thing? I think you should crawl back to your bosses in Atlanta. Look. I’m not a big fan of democracy. Democracy is a farce. In fact, democracy is a HOAX.
FOX News reporter: Mr. President apart from the coronavirus, what in your own words would you say is a clear and present danger for America?
Trump: Quite frankly lady journalist. I like your looks. Who do they call you again? ….doesn’t matter. I see many, many threats. You have CNN in one corner peddling untruths about me, China manipulating her currency coupled with a Kung Flu that isn’t doing any harm to Americans and Russia meddling in our elections to prop up Sleepy Joe steal an election. Need I continue? Next,
CNN reporter: Mr. President do you believe in Science?
Trump: Science. Ask me If I care about Science? Science is worse than faith. It’s fake like the fake news coming from CNN. What is science? We came here on earth before science. I don’t believe in fiction. I believe in things that work for all Americans I mean humanity as a whole without Africans of course. I’m going to make sure America works again with or without science.
CNN reporter: But you just lost an election and Africans are human too?
Trump: What election did I lose? There was no election. There was a massive fraud of an election driven by CNN and their friends to help Sleepy Joe win. I will take the last question from Fox news.
FOX News: Mr. President what would you say has been your greatest achievement in your Presidency?
Trump: My record speaks for itself. I built that wall remember. Those aliens from Mexico are at bay. I have not lied more than 300 times in my Presidency. I gave Africa the fat middle finger it deserves. I bullied China over trade and I still do. Ask the Huawei lady chief spy. God has always been on my side. I contained the rubble rousers during Black Lives Matter on the evening of Monday June 1. I walked a short distance from the White House to St John’s Episcopal Church, where I posed outside while holding a Bible above my head. I have followed in the footsteps of past American Presidents. I’m smart you know. I used sacred texts to legitimise state power.
Journalists murmur: From courtrooms to the US Capitol steps, the Bible is regularly used as a physical symbol of political authority. Such practices in American public life continue a long history of using the Bible as a material object in order to authorise political power – a history that goes back to the Roman empire.
